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How to get dh to get baby at night.

I have tried talking to him, waking him up when the baby cries, my ds is a week old, i need sleep but i can't seem to get dad up. anything i can do or am i just sol?

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Asked by pandanpumkin at 2:11 AM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Sit down and talk to "Daddy!" Tell him that you are NOT going to get up and feed the baby..or rock the baby..and that HE needs to MOVE IT!! You are exhausted...and you need to sleep! Let HIM get up ..take turns..that way you can get some sleep and he can too! Good luck!!

    Answer by ladyk99 at 2:14 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I was nursing, and the baby always slept next to me, so at that age I just sucked it up. And my oldest was a terrible sleeper (still is at 13.) The I'm so exhausted thing got me points for when DS was older and didn't need to nurse or after his sister and brother came along. DH got up with the older kids so I could deal with baby.

    There were also times I just kept elbowing him in the ribs until he heard the baby.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:16 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • My husband is no good at night. He can't fully wake up, is confused, kinda walks in circles . . . . that is just him. Once he is asleep, he is out. And if he doesn't get his sleep, he is grouchy the next day. So, I just pushed through baby and toddlers nighttime wakes. I wound up co-sleeping alot because I needed some rest. I think men are wired differently.

    Sorry mama . . . . I wish we all had an extra "mommy" around to help us out.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:50 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • My husband used to get up on his own with our little ones for the first couple of weeks, but I was nursing so there was no sense in both of us being up - and when he went back to work I tried to be as quiet as possible to let him sleep. He was better about watching our older ones during the day and letting me nap when baby did.

    Answer by missanc at 5:29 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • If daddy is working and you are not it is YOUR job to get up with the baby. You can take a nap in the daytime when the baby naps. Do you think his boss is going to let him nap because he had to get up while you needed your beauty sleep? My oldest got up every 10 minutes. She had colic, but it was so long ago they didn't diagnose it. 10 minutes at a time around the clock for 5 months. I was only 18. Guess what? Not only did I handle it, I survived and now at 45 I am healthier than most 18 year olds are. Why? I shouldn't be, I smoke and worship the sun. It's because I get up, get moving and don't let anything stop me. Oh, and then 21 months later I had another baby. I have 4 all together and have NEVER had anyone else get up with them. What do you think single mothers do? They handle it and some even work.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:57 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Sorry, dad's work gets him no sympathy. It's an excuse only if he's moving boulders by hand or has people's lives in his hands.

    But you also need to know that giving birth is signing a contract in blood to never get more than a couple of hours of sleep in a row... the rest of your life, I'm afraid! Even when they're grown they'll find ways to keep you up! You learn to cope.

    Cold toes applied to dad's backside tend to work very well. Even better... co-sleep so no one has to get out of bed. NO, it does not spoil the baby. YES, they will move into their own beds when THEY are ready. (Another lesson about parenthood... what YOU are ready for never amounts to a hill o'beans in the final equation.)

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • My hubby is HORRIBLE at night. So with my first we compromised and he took the 6 am feed and I took the 2 am feed. That way we both got a good amount of sleep and he didn't have to get up in the middle of the night. This time, I'm nursing so it's much harder. He really can't help during the night and if he did, I'd have to get up to pump anyway. So he's off the hook now.

    Just talk to your dh and see if there is a feed he'll take to help you out. Maybe you can go to bed earlier so he can take a late evening feed or maybe he can do the early morning like my husband did.

    Answer by FLmommy0204 at 2:17 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • DH and i came up with a schedule since he is working i did the night feedings up till about 8 am then he did her early feedings till he had to go to work then i took car of her during the day and when he got home it would be his turn to take over giving me some time to relax and have some mommy time if that doesn't work a sharp elbow to the side and reminding him you didn't get pregnant on your own sometimes opens his eyes

    Answer by krissii at 3:49 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Talk to him and work out a schedule that eases the strain. Not everyone is able to do it all alone. Every family's situation has some differences. When he works could play a factor. Some people have different times when they're sleepiest. Sit & talk it out & see if there are times when he can watch the baby so you can take a break & get some rest. Then you can watch him when your husband needs rest before or after work (whichever suits him better). As for sucking it up & doing it all yourself? I doubt you'd have to if your husband knew how tired you are. Hopefully a compromise can be reached.

    Answer by sarenaerin at 8:31 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Well, I'm going to be diff from most: 1)Does "dad" work FT? 2)Do you work outside the home?
    If yes to #1 & no to #2, then don't expect him to get up--he needs to get his rest to be safe on the job & driving btwn home & work. You can take naps whenever the baby does & have dad help w/ the housework & cooking that you can't keep up w/ d/t baby & need for naps. You might also arrange w/ him to take care of babe for an hour when he gets home while you catch a nap. If you are BF, a recliner would be a nice way to BF during the night--you can both fall asleep w/o worry of rolling over onto babe. And, on the w/e or when dad isn't working, maybe you make arrangements for him to get up those nights--but make the ? nice & offer him a "reward," such as his fave dessert or watching his fave show w/o any comments from you.
    If you also work, then something else would need to be worked out.

    Answer by suemayonline at 4:51 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

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