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Is you husband helpful with the kids?

I have 3 kids aged 8 months, 3 and 4 years. Love them to pieces but they take a lot out of me most days. I stay at home and my husband works. I know he works hard and without his job I wouldn't be able to stay home with my babes. I have a hard time though getting him to see that when he's home he needs to pick up the slack and help me out. Not that he dosen't do anything but I wish he would do more.
I've told him that when he's home I'd like for him to help out with bath time, picking up around the house, change a diaper and maybe empty the dishwasher without me having to constantly ask him!
Also he wants to have another baby. Am I crazy for wanting him to help me more?


Asked by AmandaH321 at 2:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • No you are not crazy. Try to talk to him, telling him that the children need him. That giving them a bath, or reading books bonding time. If I was in your shoes I would not have another child until he understands how important his role is in his childrens lives and not just the bread winner role.

    Answer by Dannee at 2:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • rarely. If I need him to babysit for a Girl Scout meeting it's like pulling teeth and I worry about the kids. It irks me when I hear him bragging about what a great father he is or saying that he needs to help put the kids to bed. He does not even know their bedtime routines. The other day I came home from a meeting and my 2 yr old was crying holding a diaper. I was only gone 1.5 hours and he had sat in his poop so long he had a horrible rash. So told me he did not know but the seven yr old told me Dad keep complaing had bad it smelled and telling the little one to leave the room.

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 3:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Your not crazy. I think every mom goes threw this. I'm going threw the same thing. I can't get him to help with any thing every once and a while he will change our son but only if it doesn't smell. He'll make our son lunch but that's about the only thing he will do without me asking him

    Answer by Happymomma365 at 3:08 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Mine is the same way. ALL I really ask him to do is play with the boys while I make dinner... just keep them out of the kitchen. He'll just sit and watch tv and yell at them AFTER he hears me tell them to get out of the kitchen! I do ask him to do baths sometimes, but he always says 'hold on', blah blah blah, so I end up having to do it myself just to keep on schedule. For the most part, I don't mind that he doesn't do anything else around the house, he works 16 hours a day most days. But on the days he is home, how hard is it to play with the kids for 20 minutes??

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 6:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • untill it comes to a poop diaper,
    dishes or pick up house with me isn't something i ask im not a stay at home mom but he dose work his 70 hr weeks so i feel that i owe him that much , on his days off he dose it without saying anything you should try a time slot routiene i know how easy it is when i was a sahm i got lost in the day's so i scheduled it out there are enough hours in my day to do the house work and everything i need to get done i wouldn't feel right if he walked in from work and i was asking him to do my job, i work part time but i stil keep the house in order i have two son's and a baby due in may im tired all the time so i can say ive been there but i figured out that it was me not using my time the way i should be using it , like i'd blink and the day was already almost over by the time daddy gets home.

    Answer by rachael596 at 10:55 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yup when we go out to eat he always helps me with our younger ones he orders,gets the highchair, he helps me cook,changes diapers,disciplines them,always carries our daughther,dreeses her etc we are a team.This morning I was getting things ready and he was doing the other half we help each other out .We know what to do to help each other out especially if we are going somewhere.We are a great team.He knows what I am thinking.I do not have to tell him,we know each other very well.

    Answer by monica277 at 1:18 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Lucky you monica277! We were like that with our first but shortly after the second baby was here he seemed to change. Does not seem to handle stress well.
    As far as being a sahm I don't feel that that includes being a maid. I'm very busy during the day with my kids, we have activities that we do and are rarely home during the morning. Cleaning is not my first priority. I'm a stay at home mom, not a stay at home maid. There are things that I don't expect or want him to do. laundry and bathrooms mainly!!!! But do feel that he should share the responsibility of the house with me.
    As for the kids I think that there is no excuse for not helping or doing for/with them. I still have to carry on with the day regardless of pulling an all nighter with a sick child or teething baby.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • my hubby works 14 days straight and is home for a week so really he only gets one week off a month but that week that is off he helps me out so much...bath time, bed time, this weekend he done my dishes and my laundrey and vaccumed just to help me out cause he tell's me all the time he knows it isnt an easy job he even cooked me and the kids dinner im one lucky girl....but we dont see him alot like i said he is only home one week out of the month and i appreciate him working so hard to allow me to stay home with my kids.

    Answer by WvMommyof3 at 7:26 AM on Dec. 16, 2008