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Do I make her clean her mess? If so how?

My dd who just turned 22 was living with us and her two kids and husband. They had run into some financial problems and I wasnt about to let my grandkids be homeless. They also had some legal issues so technically I had custody of the babies. She moved out last summer and the room has sat empty, or so I thought.
I am redoing bedrooms and moving my 11 yr old upstairs to the room she used to use. It has a closet that you can use and shares a door with the playroom. I dont use the closet, the kids used to walk through the closet to their room though. I went to find the bassinet I allowed her to use (was a gift to me and over $150 mind you) and she had thrown it and all kinds of things in the closet. It is full of trash and clothes. Maybe it is my own fault for not checking fully but I didnt think she would do that.

I have asked her to come clean it. I need it cleaned. I have arthritis in my back so I cannot do it on my own. I can go maybe 30 minutes then need a break. So far she wont. How or what would you do to get her to come clean her mess?


Asked by gemgem at 10:00 AM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Honestly, I don't think there is a way you can make might need to ask a friend or neighbor to help you out.

    Answer by AF4life at 10:13 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I think you might have to suck it up on this one. Unless she comes to, she wont be returning to clean it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Although she should clean it, there's not much you can do if she won't. I'd keep this in mind the next time she wants help though.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:12 AM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • That's awful. She should respect you enough to come clean her mess when you asked. We had a similar situation several years ago when my mom moved out of her house. She had bad knees and hadn't been upstairs (where our rooms were) in years until she had to clean it to move, and we all got phone calls telling us to get our asses back home and clean our 10 year old messes. We ALL showed up. We knew it was our mess to clean, we knew she didn't make the only makes sense that WE (the ones who made the mess!) would be the ones to clean it. It is sad that she doesn't see it that way, but I don't know there is anything you can do to make her come do it other than letting her know you will remember this if she asks you for help again.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:34 AM on Jul. 1, 2011