I think the first step would be to sit with your hubby and the two of you decide what the rules would be. Then, to tell her the rules. She may realize that (depending on what she and mom are fighting about) that the situation isn't going to be any better and that she has to accept it. Then, talking to the mom to get her take on the situation and how she feels about the daughter moving in with dad. Giving the daughter some time to cool down would be a good idea, too. If, after she calms down, she still wants to move, then it would seem more reasonable. Also, get the daughter to give her reasons for wanting to move. If she gives good, solid reasons, even in the heat of anger, then that would show she's put some thought into it.
at 3:05 PM on Dec. 15, 2008