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How do you deal with a manipulating 13 year old stepdaughter who knows how to create conflict between me and her father?

She is the only child, came from a bad divorce. I have 2 boys who do not have conflict with my 2nd husband and their father and I have an amicable relationship.

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Kimbermom40

Asked by Kimbermom40 at 3:14 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I had the same relationship with my step mom awhile back, and now we are great. I was just really jealous of her, because i wanted my dad to myself. Just plain tell her, she's 13, in a few years she is going to be moved out, and you will be with her dad, not in a mean way, but im sure you get how i mean. Spend time with her. Find out things she likes to do, and do it with her. Thats how my stepmom and I got close.
    Jessica1991

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 11:05 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • First..do not discuss financial or important issues in her presence. They are none of her business. Do not fight in front of her. In fact...don't even disagree in front of her. Thats extreme but she will most likely use anything she can against you. Hold fast to the agreed upon rules to her. You have to present a united front or she will divide you everytime. Let her know that you are there for her and spend time trying to build relationship with her. She most likely doesn't need another parent. Try to avoid that role if you can. Youre going to have to enforce the rules but you don't have to be her disciplinarian. Shes too old to have another parent walking into her life bossing her around. Let her dad and mom do that. Make sure your husband takes your side in a disagreement. If he disagrees with you, then he needs to tell you in private and then you and him can work it out. Thats part of the united front.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:59 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • First of all you need to have a serious talk with your husband. Decide that you will not allow this to happen. Then the three of you have a talk. Calmly and to the point. You and your husband have to be on the same page that she will not cause conflict between you. grannywilson
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 4:50 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

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