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Another man


I am married, but separating from my husband. I was asked out by a friend of his, who is separated, and I accepted. Well, I really enjoyed being out with him. Is it wrong to date someone while still legally married?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Not really. Divorce proceedings can take forever. However, you need to absolutely make sure your marriage is over before you start dating. It is very hard to reconcile after one or both of you are seeing other people, especially friends. Somene is bound to get hurt.

    Answer by pupmom at 3:47 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yes, and it's wrong to date a friend of his, you know the rule on that right? You are still married and if you sleep with him that's adultery.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • No its not wrong if yall are going through a divorce but it is wrong for you to date his friend without his consent. You know the friend rule. It is degrading

    Answer by cphilp2007 at 3:51 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yes it's wrong, and it makes it even worse that u went out with a friend of his. U are still married and not even legally separated yet so technically ur committing adultry. Even though ur at a rocky point in ur marriage it is possible that u could work things out with hubby, even if yall don't u should take it slow and shouldn't be in a rush to move on or be dating until u handle the situation ur already in. U don't want to make things worse for yourself. Good luck

    Answer by ms.busybody at 3:52 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • well my fiance s technically still married. we;re probably legally getting married the day after the devorce is filed.

    i didnt know he was married until i moved in with him. but hey we're in love!

    Answer by kahmommy at 4:02 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I think you should be honest with your husband about what you are doing. Maybe you are separated but it can be hard detaching yourself from the feelings associated with marriage. I think if you are truly moving on and there is no chance at all of reconciling your marriage then it is okay to date (unless you have a religious viewpoint on the whole adultery thing). As for dating his friend, I think that depends on whether it is okay with your husband. I think if his friend is willing to go behind his back to date his wife then he isn't a very good friend. I don't know the circumstances of your impending divorce but it doesn't seem fair that one guy should have to deal with losing his wife and his friend in one shot. Talk to your husband and clear it with him. That's the only way you are going to rid yourself of the obvious guilt you are feeling.

    Answer by sillyt at 4:05 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • It's always fun to go out with someone new...just remember...their crap no matter how interesting now...gets old, just like your husband's did. I don't think you should jump into anything right now. I've been there (gotten divorced) and I know it can be lonely but it's best not to jump into anything. You might not think you are going to reconcile with your husband...but I have learned most anything can be fixed so are you sure you guys have done all you can do? The single best piece of advice I ever got was being told that everyone has issues. When you trade spouses, or SO's, your just trading for a different set of issues. Sometimes those issues are tolerable, but knowing that encourages me if I am ever frustrated with my husband to just work it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Anonymous... you're right. I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but it sure is green right now! I truly do not see hubby and I reconciling, but I don't exactly want this dating "relationship" out in the open, especially if I'm not sure where it's going, if anywhere.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • yes it truly is. why not wait til the divorce. what kind of standards are you setting for your kids. try to keep your dignity and integrity intact until the divorce. if you loose that before the divorce it's most likely this new relationship will not work out cause of karma or murphys law.

    Answer by melody77 at 4:24 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • besides what would jesus do? what would he want you to do?

    Answer by melody77 at 4:25 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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