Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Pacifier use? (3 year old)

My daughter turned 3 in October and has always been very attached to her pacifier. Around 18 months we told her she could only have it while resting/sleeping (on the couch or in bed). Around 2 and 1/2 we told her she could only have it in her bed, and it had to always stay in her bed. that is where we are now. I guess I am wondering if this is still ok, and looking for ways to get her to stop using it.

Answer Question
 
Krysta622

Asked by Krysta622 at 3:58 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 23 (15,412 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • I'm in the same boat, DD loves her binky, we slowly put rules to get to where we are now, she can only have it when going to sleep in bed....but that is still too much as she is going to be 4 in February. I have started prepping her and saying that big 4 year old girls don't use binkies, so on the morning of her birthday we are going to give her binky to baby Wyatt (a friend's baby). She seems agreeable as of now, lol, but we'll see. I have found that me and DH stress WAY more than is generally necessary for changes with the kids, they always surprise us and handle it so much better, I hope this is also one of those times.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 4:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • My oldest had his until he was 4. I wanted to take it away when he was 3 and DR told me not to. My son used it to help him stop scratching. He has a severe skin condition and he would scratch all the time.

    I think that as long as she is only using it when she sleeps then there is nothing wrong with this.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:22 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Try taking it away or have her give it to a baby doll that she can sleep with so it is close but she is not using it herself and transition her comfort from the paci to the doll. My kids are not particularly attached to anything and luckily I never had to break them of a binky
    vsrillo

    Answer by vsrillo at 4:35 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I went through hell with the pacifier issue before my son was one but the day after he turned one I put it away and never gave it back he forgot bout it eventually but it was hard getting it away and he would cry but he had to find a different way of soothing himself... its also bad for their teeth
    OXyungmamaXO

    Answer by OXyungmamaXO at 4:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I shouldnt even answer this question!!! Pacifiers are for INFANTS to help with sucking a bottle or breastfeeding or to pacify them when cranky!!! not for a spoiled toddler who wont give it up!!! In my opinion no child sould ever have one past one year of age. It seriously bugs me when a parent asks how do i get them to give it up? TAKE IT AWAY AND LISTEN TO THE WHINING FOR A DAY OR TWO!!! take it and DO NOT give it back its as simple as that!! It is bad for their teeth aswell!! im sorry if im being rude but this is just a child controlling a parent issue and its one that really bugs me!! I would honastly take it away its only gonna get harder that longer you let her have it!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 4:58 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I'm guessing se will give it up when she is mentally, emotionally, and physically ready. She won't be 20 and still have a pacifier. She certainly won't be taking it on sleepovers at friends' homes. So all in all - I wouldn't stress yourself out about it. Ask her when she feels like she wants to put it away. Her answer may surprise you. She may tell you next week or on her birthday...or she may hang on to it for fear you mean you want her to chuck it now. Explain that you trust her to know when it is time and that when she no longer needs it you have decided to celebrate with an official big girl party. Maybe a princess pancake party with the family or a special doll to sleep with now that she has graduated. You could even make "graduation" the theme. Be creative and also know she will know too when the time is right. Either that or she will just start sucking her thumb.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Oh, and to the mom above me, a little harsh. One thing we don't know is a child's true age when we see them about town. I knew one year olds who looked more like they were three. Also some children who have delays need to have a pacifier for emotional security. You can't always tell a child's age and cognitive or medical issues by looking at them in passing. So while it may bug some women to see an older kid with a pacifier - there are reasons why older kids have one. Imagine a child who is in foster care and has regressed in age. That pacifier may temporarily help that kid through the transition of a new foster home. My point is: not very gracious in assuming you know better than the child's development and needs better is rather arrogant.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:26 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • If the kid was sucking her thumb would you cut it off Scaredmommy08 ?? It seems like the use is very limited. I don't see an issue with it.
    Emmoney

    Answer by Emmoney at 5:51 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • scaredmommy08, you're right. You shouldn't even be answering this question. You were very rude.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 6:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I like the reply of the person that said to talk to your dd about it, and either let her know that on a certain date she'll have to give it up, or do a gradual thing. When dd was 2, we started taking it away after it fell out of her mouth at night. Then actually, my mil misunderstood my instructions when she took her for a weekend, and just didn't give it to her. When she came home she didn't ask for it except once, and we told her grandma lost it. That was it and she was totally fine. We were very amazed- we thought we'd have a hard time getting rid of it. The only problem I see is, at 3 they are more their own person and want to make their own decisions (rather than at 2). So the best bet would to give her a choice as to when she can give it up, and then stick to the decision. That way she can feel in control of the situation without fully being in control.
    abigail824

    Answer by abigail824 at 6:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.