Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How Do I leave?

I've been w/ my boyfriend for almost 6 years and we have 2 children (3 and 7 mths). I don't want to be with him anymore. I haven't for quite some time and I want to leave so bad but we share a large home, bills, two cars and everyone seems so content except for me. I don't think "the grass is greener..." or anything like that. I am just unhappy with the way things are. We never do anything alone. And when I tell him I need to go out and do something other than work and kids and house chores, etc. He acts like I'm speaking a different language. We've been speaking two different languages for like 3 years. I don't wanna talk anymore. I just want to be alone for awhile. I see people posting that single life is not all that, but being in an unhappy relationship is for the birds as well.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Do you have the money to get your own apartment and still pay for one of the cars? I'd tell him that you need to leave for awhile because this isn't the life you want for yourself. If you are unhappy then tell him that. I'd say take one car and go get an apartment and split the time up with the kids. Try the being alone if that's what you want there is no sense in staying just because everyone else is ok with it. Do whats best for you.

    Answer by husky_grlie08 at 7:34 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • sounds more like you are bored than out of love with him
    take charge and spice things up
    hire a sitter and make him come with you to... a movie, concert, dinner, waterskiing, skydiving, whatever it is that will excite you
    find time for just you, maybe too much time for you as caregiver can burn a person out
    hire a sitter and take a class in stainglassw indows, or karate, or painting, or skydiving -whatever=time for yourslef does not have to mean spilting the family

    *opionin from a single mom who tried everything to keep family together
    but i was not bored- i had no other choice

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:03 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • i agree with fiatpax get time alone, just you and him and you by yourself. i was feeling the way you are a couple of years ago. i decided to go back to college, and while in school i met new people and acquired new hobbies. i learned that i cant depend on someone else or a relationship to make me happy. I now demand time to myself and hubby gladly gives me time to do what i like. at first he didnt, but on his days off i said im going to do this and this and left. since im happier, he is happier and our relationship is better. Im now glad I didnt leave.

    Answer by gothmama91 at 9:44 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Instead of heading for a split, why not seek counselling as a couple? I know
    you said you don't want to talk anymore, but I bet that's a HUGE part of the
    problem. It sounds like you guys have zero communication. And that is going
    to kill your relationship. Obviously you used to be in love with him. What happened
    to that?!? What changed? Before you decide to chuck your relationship completely,
    why not give counselling a shot? Then, if it still doesn't work out, at least you will
    know that you both did all you could and can part ways knowing that you did your best and
    all you could to make it work. If you just split now, you're gonna end up wondering if it was
    really for the best or not...and believe me, that's not something you want.

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 11:58 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • Doesn't sound like you have very valid reasons to leave...because you don't 'do anything alone' or 'go out"? Really?

    Answer by MamaMia9999 at 12:24 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Honestly, my friends that are single moms don't get much alone time! I think you have to do more than just talk! Plan a night out. Either alone with dh or completely alone! You truly can't depend on him to make you happy, you have to participate!

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.