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Is this unhealthy?

i'm 25 and my dad and i have never once said "i love you" to eachother. we don't hug or kiss or share any kind of affection. it's been this way for as long as i can remember. we don't hate eachother either though, for the most part we get along and i have the utmost respect for him. he also shows his love in other ways. the rare times we have hugged it was extremely awkward. for some reason this kind of emotional distancing works for both of us. do you think that this is probably unhealthy though? i have kids of my own and i'm not this way with them, i love giving and receiving lots of hugs and kisses from my kids. i also don't have any intimacy or affection issues with my husband. still, sometimes i wonder how weird my dad and i are. anyone else have a relationship like this with their parent?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (3)
  • i had that kind of relationship with my late grandfather..we never hugged or kissed. never expressed really any emotion. i loved him and he was very dear to me. however even holding a conversation with him was akward. on the phone it was always just hi, how are you feeling hows, the weather, nice talking to you. it worked fine for us. i am very affectionate to my DH DS

    Answer by MonkeyMommyNJ at 8:02 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • My dad never said "I love you" until I was into my 30s. He wasn't the big hugging/kissing kind of guy. I think things changed a lot since I got married, and even more after my dd was born. I hug and cuddle with my dd and tell her "I love you" at least ten times a day. I don't think you have a weird relationship. I don't know how old your dad is, but mine is in his 70s and times were different when they were raising kids, plus he didn't come from a very loving family, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love his family. He just has a different way of showing his love. :)

    Answer by Ashoonik at 8:12 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • it's not that unusual. I come from a family that isn't that affectionate. I've never seen my father cry and not until recently have we began hugging. I happen to be very affectionate towards my DH and daughter. I agree with Ashoonik, everyone has a different way of showing their love.

    Answer by mmsfirstone at 9:46 PM on Jul. 1, 2011