Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Adoptee's, how do you feel about your original birth certificate??

Adoptee's, how do you feel about your original birth certificate?? I noticed the other post about OBC, so I was wondering how adoptees feel about it?? I know in the previous post there are some excited ladies, but I think 90% of them are birthmothers hoping the adoptee will now have a greater chance of finding them...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (35)
  • And, I think YOU must be an adoptive mom worried that your child might want to find its birth family. Maybe it doesn't bother you that your child might someday want to see its birth certificate and discover that they cannot.

    My son never had an interest in his original birth certificate, but, he did have an interest in finding me. He had to pay an agency a hefty sum to search for me and I think that is wrong. Having access to your birth certificate should be available to everyone. Access to your birth certificate is a right, reunions are an entirely separate issue.

    Besides, reunions happen with or without open records. All keeping records sealed does is make searches more difficult and more costly. Plus, for adoptees who only want information, it does makes things harder for them.


    Answer by Southernroots at 11:23 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I am an adoptive mom, who has a semi-open adoption, pictures and updates twice a year, and I have a copy of my childs OBC. My child was born with special needs and basically abandoned by biological family, spent 4 years in a hospital while biological family lived 30 mins away and visited 4 times a year for about an hour, I know because it is docummented in DCF paperwork.

    I posted this question because I wanted to see how Adoptee's felt about their OBC, not what Adoptive Parents or Birth Parents think...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:15 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • If you really only wanted to ask how adoptees feel, you could have done that without taking a dig at birth moms. Some of the moms in that thread who responded were birth moms, but, I don't know how you can know that 90% were. Even if they were, why is that an issue?

    I have met many adult adoptees, and they have varying feelings about their birth certificates. Some feel extremely strongly that they have a right to their birth certificates, and others don't really care.

    I am sorry your child's birth family was abandoned by its birth family.....that's very sad.


    Answer by Southernroots at 2:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Thank you for asking this question of adoptees. I searched and found both sides of my birthfamily years ago but seeing my OBC would be a very big deal for me. i feel kind of emotional about this document. The details of my birth have been shrouded in secrecy my entire life and being able to see the document that recorded my birth would mean a lot. To see in writing that someone was there and recorded the details is an emotional idea to me. To know how much I weighed, what time I was born, if my birthday is really the right day, to see the name of the doctor that delivered me, what my APGAR score was, would all make it seem more real. All these things are facts that most people know all their lives but for adoptees they are state secrets that we are not allowed to know. In short I think it would give me great peace to see that document and be able to know for sure the details of MY entrance to this world.

    Answer by confused969 at 8:42 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I am a adopted... I deserve to have what every other adult has without a heafty fee.

     " I know in the previous post there are some excited ladies, but I think 90% of them are birthmothers hoping the adoptee will now have a greater chance of finding them..."

    ...and the problem with this would be???  Darn right they are excited!  I am sure some of your 90% was adoptees like me.


    Answer by ochsamom at 10:01 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Confused, thank you for posting your thoughts and ideas, I so appreciate it:)
    Remember OP, when we wish to know something from a "specific" group of people,(UHGG, I even hated typing that...just another instance of labeling and making a person stand out different from the rest of the population)...however, when we post requesting "specific" opinions, best be done in that specific forum...NOT an open forum for Q&A, JMHO;)
    MY twin sons, do not have their OBC, nor have they inquired about this with me as of yet. Having said that, I can tell you on their B-Day this past March, on the exact time they were born, I sent them a copy of their little foot-prints, and stats of their weight, length,etc., they both were thrilled, and I was thanked so much:) WHY, you might ask, simple,, it is THEIR RIGHT to do so, just as I have mine and hopefully you have yours:) I don't need protection, nor do they, so why is secrecy needed? CJ~

    Answer by ceejay1 at 10:07 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • My first but not only reason to want my OBC was like confused- to SEE, and hold the document that had truthful facts of my birth. Did I celabrate my birthday on the correct day? Was I born in the city my ammended said I was? What time of day Was I born?
    Non-adoptees have their obc, and their mother is 'around' to tell the stories of their birth if they want to hear details.
    Adoptees adoptive mothers were usually no where near the hospital at our birth. They couldn't tell us truthful details if they wanted to. They don't know either- unless they pass on a lie to us.

    My 2nd reason was to confirm I had found the correct family before we got in too deep with relationships. My agency would NOT confirm to any of my 5 brothers and sisters and me that we matched. This would have been the easiest way to know I had the right family. Next, the OBC, and last- DNA tests to try and confirm.

    I have my OBC. But I had to break the law

    Answer by adopteeme at 11:19 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Southernroots, I was NOT taking a DIG at birthmoms, I can understand why they would be excited, I've read over the other post and replies, I've seen almost everyone in the post on here enough to know where they are in the triad. Having read their replies, I wanted to know how Adoptees feel about this, since the Birthmoms are " preaching" how important it is for adoptees to have this info.

    I think we all know that birthparents take a stance on eveything on one side ans adoptive parents take a stance on the opposite on almost every topic on adoption, but everyone says it always affects the adoptee most, so why can't I just get the answers from Adoptees on this?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:27 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • to get it. Some amoms here have said I brag about being a criminal. That's not really the case. It's very sad that I had to go to that extreme to get MY papers.

    If you hear Rosa Parks story in a history lesson- is the teacher advocating her students to act in a crime??

    I want to someday soon get my OBC again, following the law, when every adoptee has the right to do so.

    Leave NO ONE behind!
    Open records to ALL adoptees- no conditions no qualifications.

    Answer by adopteeme at 11:28 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Ochsamom... I have NO problem with the birthmoms being excited in the other post, but I read all of their replies and I would like to know how Adoptees feel on the issue...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:29 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.