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My mom is disrespecting me what should I do?!?! Needs advice!

Alright so I'm 20 years old and have been married since I was 19 and I've lived outta my parents house since I was 18.So my mom got divorced to my stepdad 2 years ago and ever since then she's become very religious like she used to be religious but not like this and she quotes the Bible 24/7, nowI'm Christian but I don't quote the Bible constantly.Anyways so my mom treats me as if I'm still a child and doesn't let me make my own decisions and it drives me crazy.This past week I went to my moms house just me because she needed someone to take her to her surgery.So first it started off with we went to Walgreens and some lady walked in and had a very raspy deep breath and asked for 5 packs of cigarettes and I said to my mom see mom that's what's going to happen to you if you don't quit smoking.So I started telling my mom that I'm concerned for her and she blew it outta proportion saying I need to stop lecturing her and she doesn't wanna hear it and end of discussion. And she was screaming at me like she's crazy!So then some guy pulled out in front of us and I said what an ass hole and my mom said "Don't cuss in my presence,what do you think God thinks of you?!" I said " I'm a grown ass woman and I can talk however I wanna talk" so then she tells me "I'm your parent and you still have to obey me, do you know what the bible says about sin?" so then she starts rambling on about sin like I don't know what it is or something.So then we get home and we had dinner then we went for a walk and I decided we should talk about how she makes me feel like she still thinks I'm a kid.I was talking in such a calm mature manner.Well again she's like I don't wanna talk about this your getting my blood pressure up and heart rate up and I don't need stress the day before surgery.And I told her no we need to talk about this now I'm not going to avoid this and I need to get this off my chest and she started yelling at me again and said fine I'll just cancel my surgery! I said whatever mom do what you want.And I just walked ahead of her and we walked by ourselves cause she wouldn't listen to me.Well the next day I take her to her surgery and she complains about the way that I drive and how I shoulda taken a turn down this road its a shortcut but she didnt even tell me till after I passed it...Alright so I'm not really sure what I should do should I stop talking to my mom for now or what in the world should I do to stop her treating me like a child and her trying to controll my every move?!?!

Answer Question
 
bellaambru90

Asked by bellaambru90 at 11:33 PM on Jul. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (842 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • It sounds like you and your mom love each other, so I wouldn't cut her out of my life if I were you. If it were me, I'd do more listening and less talking....not because you are at fault, but because you are the only person in this situation that you can control. You cannot make your mom listen to you, no matter how concerned you are about her smoking, etc. And you cannot change her.....but you can work on yourself and hopefully this will at least improve your relationship a bit...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:39 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • same answer as Anna, i agree
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 11:46 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • From some of the things in your post it sounds like you aren't respecting her either. If you know that she doesn't like you cursing around her then out of respect for your mom you shouldn't, even if you are an adult. Somethings like her talking about how you drive won't change no matter how old you get it is best to just let it roll off your back. If you want to fix your relationship with your mom and have her see you as an adult you need to be honest with her about how you feel when she does/says something and be sure to listen and think before you respond to what your mom says in return.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 11:53 PM on Jul. 1, 2011

  • I know, that you do not know me, but I will be happy to speak with you.

    How old is your mother ?

    How sick is she ?

    My mother as of now, was told LAST MAY, she would live 6 months due to a tumor, in her 1 LUNG that she has....

    She is still here, but I FEAR not much longer.

    Arguements, are nothing........

    When it comes to them dieing :( ...........
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:08 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Um she is 45 but she acts likes shes still 16, she's not sick she has COPD which is beginning stages of emphysema though thats why I'm always on her about quiting smoking because she has an 8 year old daughter as well and I don't want her to suffer or die when my sister is so young.I don't want my mom to have to go through what my husband grandmother has to go through its really sad.That's why I'm so concerned but she has to blow everything outta proportion.The surgery she had was sinus surgery...
    bellaambru90

    Comment by bellaambru90 (original poster) at 1:15 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • tell her that her body is a temple and she should watch what she puts in it. Smoking is killing her slowly. COPD is nothing to sneeze at. She will uptimately die from it if she doesn't make healthy changes now. Maybe she needs help in her addiciton to cigs. Offer to go with her. Most insurances cover he dr visit and the meds. AS to your bickering, she still thinks of you as her little girl. Point out to her nicely, that MOM, I am grown and I make my own decisions. I appreciate your input, but the ultimate decision is mine. Just as the ultimate decision regarding her is her. Is there something that you both enjoy together? If so, only get together for the next few weeks to do that, and keeps the phone calls to a minimal so that she can see you are independent . Once she sees that , she will back off.
    BrendaW.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 1:31 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

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