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What do I do?

Ok so my daughters 1st b-day is the day after christmas, and we had decided to wait until the first week or 2 of jan to have her party. I think that the 1st is one of the mast important. Well like i said me and my hubby AGREED that we would do it after the first of the year. Well while he was on the phone with his mom i kept hearing him say yeah ok we can do that. Well when he got off the phone i asked him what it was about. His mom basically told him we were having her party the weekend after Christmas and it was ONLY for his family not mine. Because his brother is in town that weekend. And he AGREED to it without asking me. Or even telling me. I know we can have another one but it would only be my family which is 3 people. the rest is moved away. I am SO annoyed.

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well I would tell him he needs to tell her differently. Your family should be involved as well and it's not your fault that is the only he will be in town. You two are the ones who should make plans and have the say so. Hope you can work something out.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 6:21 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Yea I agree with Christine's answer. I would tell your husband to explain to his mother that you had already decided on a date. Have him explain its not fair to you to have to plan two birthday parties (one for his side and then one for yours). She may be mad for a little while but she'll get over it.

    Answer by LL_J at 6:28 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Wow I'd be way irritated... I agree that should be your (his' and your's) decision, not hers. And what's the deal with his mom saying your family isn't invited? Did I missunderstand that because that sounds incredibly obnoxious of her; telling you when your baby's b-day is going to be and then saying your side of the family can't come! Come on- she got to plan her own kid's parties, let you plan yours!

    Answer by esr at 6:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Well he never should have agreed without talking to you first. That being said you should be flexible on the date if he has family that will be in from out of town. I don't see why your MIL would say your family can't come when there are only 3 of them. Why not just invite them and be done with it? If your MIL doesn't like the idea then insist that the party be at your house or your mother's house and everyone is invited.

    Answer by beckcorc at 6:45 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • No you didnt read it wrong. She did say that. I dont know. She tries to plan everything with our daughter. because she never had one and she actually want to take her from us and when she was first born would call herself mommy to our daughter with us sitting there. But every time i go to say anything to her my hubby get mad but he wont say anything to her either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • From reading all the posts...I agree. Decisions like that should be made together. You should tell him that it's fine...but your family should be allowed to go or you just won't have the party at all. It's not fair to not invite your family for her first birthday! It sounds like your husband is a mommy's boy that doesn't like to make her mad. Stand up for yourself if he won't stand up for you and tell her like it is. I would be pissed if a grandma had my son call her mom and if my husband wouldn't say anything I would. I try to be nice and respect my MIL even when I don't agree...but that crosses the line!

    Answer by britni11 at 6:56 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Wow it sounds like she's got some issues... I have no idea how to deal with that! But I will say that I'm very sorry for you, that you have to deal with that for the rest of her life. I kind of like what beckcorc suggested. Invite them and be done with it! Even if you feel rude doing it; it's pretty easily defendable considering what she and your husband have pulled.
    By the way, there's a book by Jennifer Weiner called Little Earthquakes that has a character who sounds exactly like your MIL... irrelevent I know, but I just thought you might get a kick out of reading it.

    Answer by esr at 7:00 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • your husband should have never agreed with his mother, he should have stood up to his mother and told her that you two decide to do it later, it is not your problem his brother is coming in. let the mother do whatever she wants to do for the other son, and besides you two are married, and you are his family, there is no your family is not invited, you all are family. have your party whenever you say, mother will get over it, change nothing for her. your husband has already agreed with you. your husband needs to tell mother, WE WILL COME SEE MY MOTHER BUT WE ARE NOT DOING THE PARTY. THE KEY WORD IS WE, GOD SAID AS ONE.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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