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2 Bumps

Horrible BF

Seriously need to vent at the moment, and i dont want to talk to any of my friends cause i know exactly what they will say and i know its a true and i just dont want to believe it!!!

I know im old enough to make my own decisions and i know im making the wrong one, but i feel that just cause ive been with this guy for quite some time already that i HAVE to be with him...We have a beautiful daughter together...he could be such a jerk and says all the wrong things sometimes, well hes a jerk most the time, just by what he could say! I want to leave him so bad, but i he says he wont be around if i do leave him, he thinks that if i leave him ill go to another guy and he cant bare to see me be with another man or see another man be around his kid...but then i want him to change and he just has way to much pride to change...ugh i just dont know what to do...well i do know what the right thing to do is, i guess im just waiting for him to change =[

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 AM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • (((((HUGS)))))
    Ashoonik

    Answer by Ashoonik at 2:46 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Men don't change and the longer you are with him, the worse he'll get: if you think he's an ass now, just wait 5 years!!

    You do NOT have to be with him. Just dump him. If he walks out of you and your daughter's life, so be it. His choice. But don't stay with him just because of her or because he's familiar and because you've invested so much time already on the relationship, because another way of looking at it is that you've already wasted so much time on him, don't waste any more. Move on.

    But if you are actually just venting, and everything's actually okay on a deeper level, then you really should try to work through it. Don't give him on the relationship lightly if you really do love him and he you. But it has to be two-way and has to be 100% love and respect for each other.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 2:46 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • thanks...But yea things are just bad, but we kinda pretend its all ok when i really know its not...he says "his parents did the same thing for years and theyre still together"
    But i dont want to feel so dumb for being with someone who is such a dick!
    he could be absolutly amazing sometimes too though, i think theres more bad that out weighs all the good though..thats the sad part..and that i still stay.
    I guess i just dont wana feel the pain and heartbreak of being without him, and our daughter being without her dad as well..i really dont know if he would just up and leave her if i left him...i think that part may just be all talk..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:52 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • If he is actually willing to just up and leave your daughter because you end up with another man then she is better off without that fair weather jerk of a father. She needs a daddy who will be there for her no matter what weather that man is her biological father or not doesn't matter so much as needing unconditional love and support. Children learn about love from their parents so you also need to think about what kind of example you are setting there, do you want her to someday end up in the same kind of relationship
    DianeMary

    Answer by DianeMary at 2:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You and your daughter deserve to be happy, truly happy... not pretending. My heart goes out to you. I hope that either things change or you find the stregnth to move on with your life and are blessed with a bright ands wonderful life.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:58 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Thank you guys so much for the advice! Your awesome, its funny cause i really dont need any advice, cause i know what i have to do i just need to get some sense knocked into my head! LOL
    But yes, i need to set a good example for my baby, and i know i do a great job of it now...i just dont want her to ever have to experience what i have to...which im sure is what every parent wants!
    Ahh i have to some how get the strength to leave this jackass!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:07 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Children learn what they live and it is far better for a child to grow up with no father or a step father than to believe it is OK to be treated badly because "that's how Mom and Dad did it" I left my ex when my son was 2 years old, raised him on my own until he was 4, then married my current husband (whom I had grown up with) and he has done an awesome job at raising my (our) now 20 year old son. You deserve to be happy and I know this because at one time, I was in your shoes and thought the same things, now I look back at it and wonder HOW I lived that way and "loved" that man. I'm so happy now and I owe it all to my husband because he taught me that love doesn't hurt! By the way, this year marks our 17th together. Life is GOOD!
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 6:44 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You can't change people. People have to want to change for themselves and if they don't think they really have much of a problem then.?? You can wait but that might be the rest of your life. It's hard to let go. It's hard to let go of things we know aren't doing us any good. It's like letting go of that favorite old pair of jeans that don't even fit anymore (just an example). Life is like that in some ways too. I've seen people stay & really work & talk things out & work together toward a common goal, but never when only one person wants it though. It sounds like he doesn't really think he has a problem & would just be happy being a jerk with you making allowances for him to remain being a jerk , afterall, his parents did it ,right?
    You're young, do you want to be 40 trying to start your life over? Find someone deserving of you. They are out there if he doesn't want to change. It's best not to hook up with jerks.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 7:21 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • If he dont want to change then u have to change move on..
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:54 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • hey hun. sorry about your situation, but unfortunately, he isn't going to change unless God changes his heart, and he must be open and receptive to said 'change'. maybe splitting up and then developing your own relationship w/Christ will be the key for you guys. because that way, you won't be with another man, possibly having the same issues...you'll be with Christ who just want to love you and for you (and him) to get on board with 'His' program! good luck to you hun!
    HappyHmsklNapps

    Answer by HappyHmsklNapps at 9:32 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

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