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Is he too harsh or am I too soft?? (kinda long)

I sometimes feel my husband expects our three yesr old to have the maturity of a 15 yr old. He just doesn't understand that he's only three, he won't understand it all or behave how we want him to, thats called being a toddler. Case in point, yesterday when we told our son we were going to the grocery he was excited because there are special kids car carts that he loves. When we got there however they were all in use so he got sad. I walked around to see if there were any available and there was this lady cashing with one so if we had waited like 5 minutes we would have gotten it. My husband absolutely refused and made us use a regular cart, and my son was upset. Of course I cheered him up and he got over it but later in the night my husband and I had an argument about it. i just don't understand what it would take out of him to wait 5 minutes to make our son happy? He's like he doesn't like to wait, other things can make him happy, we can't teach him to be materialistic.. How is that teaching our son to be materialistic. Many times we go and its not available and we use the regular ones, but yesterday, we could have just waited 5 minutes and got the child what he wanted. He so looks forward to it, am I to soft or is my husband being ridiculous??

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Asked by gutterflower585 at 8:55 AM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 17 (3,406 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I think you both make a good point. It wouldn't have been a big deal to wait but your son also has to learn he can't always get what he wants. If I had been in that situation, honestly, I can say that I wouldn't have even bothered looking for the car cart if it wasn't available at the door. I would have just told my kids that it was being used and maybe next time it would be available for them.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 9:01 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • most men are like that. idk...the way i see it, it's mommy's job to be supportive and cuddly, and it's daddy's job to be the disciplinary figure.

    Answer by fuzzyblumpkin at 9:09 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You can very easily teach your son that he gets what he wants by doing that. On the other hand, it may have taught him a little patience. Five minutes is a long time for a 3 year old. In most cases, I would have just agreed with your husband, but it really depends on the situation. Sounds like you think it's your job to make your son happy and will do anything to do so. Wrong. If you do that he will never learn to make himself happy. Your job as a parent is to raise your children to be respectible, productive adults. Not that a child shouldn't be happy and not that you shouldn't do things to make them so, but spending your life doing things to do it isn't going to get them anywhere in life.

    Answer by attap5 at 9:15 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I would have to lean more towards your husband line of thought on this one. Sometimes things just do not work out and they have to learn how to get over it. I think it teaches them to be a bit more adaptable. Instead of waiting the 5 minutes this time there might not be one that close next time so it makes him learn how to get along without on this trip rather than the next.

    Answer by Melbornj at 9:33 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • i have to say i with hubby on this one......i would have said "sorry looks like its being used maybe next time" and gotten on with my day....its better to teach kids early things dont always go as planned.....

    Answer by cara124 at 10:26 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • 1st of the maturity level of the 15 year old and a 3 year old is about the same. hehehehe (JK mostly)

    Niether of you is wrong. He could teach him a valuable lesson on not getting what you want and taking it like a lil man and you can teach him patience for waiting for what he wants. Go squeeze hubby and tell him he is a good dad.

    Answer by ochsamom at 11:13 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • YES- i think he was being a Jerk.. if you have told your son on other days that the carts are being used & yesterday it would have only taken a few minutes then he should have waited!


    Answer by daisyb at 6:50 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

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