Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Good idea or bad idea? To find out if I am being lied to

Here's my dilemma. My SO use to frequent strip clubs when he was single. I don't have a huge issue with this and would not be all that upset if he went on occasion (we have gone together as well), my thing with him was that I told him I didn't feel it was necessary to go more than once in a great while. So far this has not been too much of an issue. I will say I know of one time he did go, that he did not tell me about. I tried dropping hints to get him to admit it, but he did not.

Now his work schedule changed and there will be opportunity for him to go out with his friend every other week. Mind you I work relatively later hours, and he has days off to where going out the night before can happen. I know this is going to come up in the next week here. So being that I am sort of a deviant woman and also can get information because I am smart and resourceful, I also know which club he was a regular at before ( this is the one he went to the one night and didnt tell me).....well this club just happens to be pretty close to my work on my way home. So now my plan is, that I know he will ask to go out with this friend of his. I am also guessing he might omit that he's stopping at this club that night and just say they are going to this local bar here for drinks. I am planning on stopping at that club to see if his truck is there that night. I am still deciding if I plan on going in or not, which I probably will just to see the look on his face. I do realize this is going to open a can of worms but I also do not want him thinking he has to lie to me about going there to avoid me getting upset. I would rather know the truth than for him to sneak there.

So comments.....good idea?? Bad Idea?? Would you do this? Would you go in?
(my reasoning for going in is, he claims hes not the "sit at the stage side" man and that he sits at the bar, has a few and leaves, oh and also that he does not spend the money on lap dances, which I have told him I don't want him doing anyways?)

Need to hear some input on what you would do in this situation!

Thanks

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:35 AM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I'd say you sound very smart and resourceful! I don't know whether or not I would be able to go in or not, but just seeing his car there when he's not supposed to be there, would be enough to put me over the edge. It's one thing to go, but to have to lie to be able to go, is another thing. Lying is never a good idea. Especially to the one person you're supposed to be able to trust the most. Good luck!!
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 10:44 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • DO IT! How awesome would that look be on his face if he sees you walk in that door! CLASSIC!

    You have a right to be resourceful if you think you're being lied to by your SO.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:48 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • it will also tech him a real good lesson...
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:48 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Watch out, you may get more information than you want here.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:55 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Thats the point.......I want the info and I cannot go on thinking he might be lying, I will deal with the outcome
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:56 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I would just confront him before you think he will do it. About being honest in a relationship. Don't lie and hide things.  Then if you know he is not home that night you are talking about go see if he is out with the guys.


    If he is hiding & lieing about this, what else is he hiding & lieing about

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:06 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • honestly if theres not trust in a relationship on both sides whats the point?
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:18 AM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • i say it depends,, what will you gain if you catch him in a lie. will he stop going? probably not.. will you leave him over it? sounds like it is really important to you if you will go to that much trouble to spy on him. I think if you are going to spy be ready to end it. i also am the type of person who needs to know as well, but be prepared for whatever comes next.
    NaiveDream

    Answer by NaiveDream at 1:56 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Men are like dogs. Sometimes you have to catch them with the trash in their mouths before you smack them on the nose with a newpaper for eating out of the garbage. So you check out the parking lot, then go in and sit down beside him and see how he reacts. He will either be shocked and will not be able to explain why he is there, or he will be pissed and go on the defensive. If he goes on the defensive, he is a real dog. If he is shocked and tries to apologize and act a little sorry there may be hope. Let him know u do not appreciate him being there and ask him to leave with u. Then when you get home calmly edxplain why u feel that way. My first husband did the same thing and I caught him dancing on the bar wtih a stripper. He was shocked to see me and started laughing. I let him know what I thought and stole his money off the bar and left him there. He came home a short time later and we nefver had that problem again
    BrendaW.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 9:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Girl, ur way better than me! I'd be all, why the he'll r u going to a strip club and disrespecting me like that when u have a respectful girl at home! Have a few at a regular bar!
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 10:44 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.