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Does anyone believe that as fathers they have just as much of a responsibility to help with feedings and care taking as us moms?

I overheard my MIL telling my husband that SHE never asked her husband to watch the baby so she could sleep. I had been up all night with a colicky baby and finally woke my hubby up at 8am to help me. He took our son to the living room and told me to just get some good sleep. I woke up and heard that conversation. She said her husband never helped her with the babies in a disapproving tone, like I'm a bad mom for letting my husband feed and watch our son. Does anyone else think it's right AND admirable that he offers and helps me? I thought it was great that he wanted to help and I sure appreciate the sleep. He flat out told her "He's MY baby too!". But it still irritated me... I also told her than I'm not HER.


Asked by MarlyeGirl at 6:50 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • Well things were different back then... Wife had to stay at home, cook, do laundry, take care of the baby and the husband goes to work, comes home and does nothing. She is prolly from this time zone (LOL!)

    i wouldnt really care about it. Your hubby seems to be a great man.. and a lovely daddy. And he did a great job telling her to basically fuck off. ;)

    be proud and dont bother.

    i totally agree with you.. they can do as much as the mommy does for the baby ;)

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 6:53 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • yep, dad helps takes two to make one, it takes two to care for and raise them.

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:52 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • its funny how the old days thats how it was. My MIL told me i expected way to much from my husband becuz i wanted him to go the dr office with when he could. She said his dad never went with me and never helped take care of baby after he was born either. Well you know what we dont live in that day and age anymore.
    daddys should help with there kids so no its not wrong you handed the baby to your husband and got some sleep hes a great guy for doing it. She needs to back off in that department.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 6:53 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Aww he's colicky? That sucks, boo, I'm sorry.

    I think the father absolutely has an obligation to help you. The baby is half of him, after all! Your MIL sounds...strange : /

    Answer by caitxrawks at 6:54 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • yes dads need to help you need all the rest you can get it wont kill him to help with the baby

    Answer by wendy232425 at 6:54 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I know how you feel... my elders haven't been so rude about it, but they (mil, mom, grandma) have told me often how they did it without help. And my Grandma in particular acts as though I'm weird to expect those things of him! Like m said, it's just a different generation.

    Answer by sfwilson at 6:58 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • i would be irritated at your MIL also... my husband does everything i do for our daughter except breastfeed... he lets me sleep in on weekends while he plays with and takes care of our daughter... since he works during the week, i am the one up at nite usually, but if its a really bad nite, he will get up and get her to sleep in another room (she sleeps with us) so i can get some rest and he'll still get up at 4am for work and never complain... i am a great mom, but i'm not supermom and i can't do everything by myself, so thank goodness i have a husband who will step in and do what needs to be done...

    Answer by babymar at 7:00 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • yes my SO helps with ours exspecially in the beginning. With you having a c-sec as did I he should help. My SO did the work as in getting up to get our kids during the night and i would feed them. And when he was home while i was recovering he did A LOT. He knows wheni have this baby he is going to be in charge of taking care of our older kids while i recover. cause he will have a couple weeks off. He has no problem with that

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Absolutely! And I'm glad hubby does help a lot! If he didn't his Mom would rip him a good one! (she was a single parent). My Mom, also a single parent, once told me he should not butt in so much with the household stuff, like laundry and dishes! ARE YOU KIDDING! I HAVE A MAN WHO ENJOYS HELPING ME AND YOUR SAYING HE SHOULDN'T!

    Answer by Monnek at 7:01 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Dont you just love MILS. Mine did the same thing mine told me that being as he worked and I didnt that he shouldnt have to do anything for the baby that he should just relax when he is home

    Answer by edgpag at 7:09 PM on Dec. 15, 2008