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Family issues; picking your battles

Would you allow your family to do what they please with your kids just so you have their support if you need them?

I'm having my 2nd son in less than a month and I have been trying to deal with my families complete disregard for the fact that my son is 4 and should be in bed by 7 not walking in the door at 11pm, bouncing off the wall from juice and candy. My husband works at night so, I always have to wait up for him to get here, and when he does, they act like its my fault, because 'I should just let him spend the night' (but then he would miss school). I never really care on weekends most of the time he does spend the night then, but sundays and week nights is a concern because makes it harder for me plus when the baby gets here, but they don't care, and when I say something they say I'm gonna wish I was nicer to them. I have preeclampsia and my doctor put me on bed rest and when I'd stopped letting him go for awhile I was doing fine, but now I'm back with migraines and other pains and problems because my letting them help me is doing me more harm than good.

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Asked by thelovelymzbre at 11:45 AM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • If you want your child to go to bed at a certain time. Just tell your family. You can only bring him places on the week ends from now on. if they ask why. Tell them the truth.

    Answer by louise2 at 12:01 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • A few weeks ago I had an issue come up with my in laws. They used to babysit at-least once a week for me, because they are the closest and most convenient. I home-school my boys, and one day my son came and told me "Grandma says we shouldn't be home-schooled because we aren't learning anything." I sent them an email telling them if they wanted to know more about what my kids are learning, they should ask me (since I'm the one in charge of their education) and to please refrain from making comments like that to my children (I don't need them undermining my decisions to my children). They basically refused, so they are no longer watching my kids. I would rather pay someone to watch my boys, than let something like that continue.

    Yes, pick your battles, but if it's something that you feel strongly about (and if it's affecting your health you obviously feel strongly) stick to your guns.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 1:03 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • No, I would not allow this kind of thing to go on which is why certain relatives no longer watch our kids. I could really use the help but I refuse to deal with the disregard for rules we have set for our kids. Before we had our second baby, I got tired of my oldest being plied with ice cream, candy, cokes and junk, staying up until the middle of the night, and hearing, "it's our right to spoil him." Overnight visits stopped and if they ask to watch them, it's only for an hour or two in the daytime and even that does not happen often as they decided that since things don't go their way, they aren't very interested.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I would find another sitter-your health and what is best for your son is the most important thing

    Answer by Jeswife44 at 7:26 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • no

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 1:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2011

  • I wouldn't put up with it. I've flat out told my inlaws...and my parents...on numerous occassions when they are allowing my kids to do things that are not appropriate - talking back, throwing toys, "grazing", getting up from the table during dinner, etc.
    That being said, 7pm seems kind of early for a 4 year old. Do you need him to be awake early in the morning so you can get him to daycare, or is this just the time you picked to be his bedtime? I'm not criticizing, just honestly curious.
    My boys are 3 1/2 and 2, and they usually get to bed between 8 and 9, but I planned on making that a hard 8pm when the oldest starts Kindergarten.

    Answer by Mama2MonkeyBoys at 5:44 PM on Jul. 25, 2011

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