Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2nd chances

Has anyone ever been in a relationship that turned abusive and managed to work it out through counseling. My relationship has taken a turn for the worst but its only been the last 4months of the enitre relationship. our 4year anniverssary is on dec.17. I plan on leaving on the 31st and I'm going to get saved and give my life to God. I know I need at least 2years for myself but we've been through alot and he has been great for the 1st 3yrs&8mon, and I want to think that it can change and get better. I can deal with finding myself for the next couple of yrs but I don't see myself starting over with somebody new. I wasn't done having kids,I never got the chance to be married and if I let go completely it'll never happen. I

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • have standards that I live by, never have another man's baby(no offense to those that do,im just afraid of picking the wrong guy and I end up having multiple kids with no father in the home) and never raise my son with a man other than his father under the same roof (no offense to those that choose to start a new life, its just i'm not that trust worth and I don't want to run into some ass that would abuse, mistreat, or molest my child). I'm 21 but I don't want to to live for the next 16yrs by myself(my son is 2) and I don't want to have only one child. Does an abusive situation always end in the worst or is it possible to move on from that point and things will get better.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • An abuser only changes if there's some other kind of intervention. Marriage counseling for you. On your own if he won't go with you.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:03 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • i have never seen an abusive relationship get better they have always got worse but who knows it might work out for the better good luck

    Answer by wendy232425 at 8:04 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I've seen maury and they have those abusive themed eposides where the guy gets scared straight. I tend to wonder if it happens in real life. Of course I'll never go on that show,and I'd have to seek other measures but I just want to have hope that things can change. If he shows that he wants to get better and wants to make it work. I want to have a religion based home thats why I'm leaving and getting involved with God, and thats why I want to be single for the next 2yrs at least. I want a new beginning, I want to start over and do things right. I want for him to show an interest leading up to a relationship between us again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • The 1st year I'd like to see him get involved in church&for the 3of us to attend family counseling. The 2nd yr I'd like some type of marriage counseling for the a whole year then we can decide if we can live a married life or go our seperate ways for good, b/c I don't want to go back to the same lifestyle of shacking up and fornicating and I need that to be just as important to him as it is to me

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • He is probably not going to change. I am so sorry but speaking from personal experience, you should get while the gettings good.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 10:06 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.