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Is your man the "boss" of the house?

Or does he just think he is? My Dh is bossy by nature, and it drives me insane at times! He seems oblivious to it at times, but he seems to always be telling me what to do, and when to do it. He is not abusive in any way what so ever, so I can't complain about that. As far as our kids goes, he is strict and what he says goes. At times I think it makes them rebel a bit more, but I have tried to tell him that to no avail. With me I have to have everything done by the time he gets home, or else he is going to be in a bad mood all night long without telling me why, but I know the real reason. Anyone else deal with this with their man?


Asked by WishyClarkson at 8:30 PM on Dec. 15, 2008 in Relationships

Level 9 (305 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Some men never have learned the art of gentleness. Was your husband in the military? Often military men have a "commanding" way about them, to put it mildly. lol Many men believe that their harshness is necessary in order to be in control, but that doesn't have to be the case. You could always plead your case by saying, in your best sweetest compelling voice possible "Sweetheart, I don't mind if you feel the need to remind me to do something that I have forgotten, BUT, there are some things in our home, that I have taken responsibility for, the same as I don't have to "remind" YOU to go to work in the morning, or to pay the electric bill, so I would appreciate very very much (blinking very quickly and softly) if you wouldn't over step the boundary and make me feel stupid by telling me what to do.

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 8:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • The last guy I was with was this way, but with the abuse. He would ALWAYS come home and throw a tantrum if things werent done, and if they weren't done the way he wanted. This guy I'm with now, does like things a certain way, blah blah..........however, He knows that if he "tells" me what to do, then i will just not do it. Also, if he has a problem with HOW i do it, then I just let him do it. I have made it very clear that I won't be taken for granted or told what to do.....period.

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • I hope he gets his fill of being in charge at work...he does veto me when it is important, but most of the time he just shuts up and lets me have my way.

    Answer by kabbot01 at 8:34 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Veto kabbot? LOL! Do you watch According to Jim?! That's the ONLY Place i've heard that on!

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:38 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • continued..."If you aren't certain that I am capable of doing my part of this union, then be sure and talk to me about it the same as your boss would discuss issues with you about your job. Please respect my ability to be a good mother and a good home-maker. And I'll be sure and respect what you do for our home." Then smile and ask if he'd like a cup of coffee with a piece of that chocolate cake. LOL He's be stunned no less. LOL

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 8:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • In his wildest dreams. I take the stance of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. He may be the head, but I am the neck - I control the movement of the head.

    Answer by Fiveofakind2 at 8:41 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • LOL I love that idea lifeasinoit!! I am going to bake a cake and try that! And yes he was in the Military for 10 years so thats a thought that I hadn't taken into consideration.

    Answer by WishyClarkson at 8:43 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • Oh hell no,LOL. We have an equal marriage, there are no "higher ups" in this home. I consider that type of B.S. unacceptable and so does he.

    Answer by misfitsmumma at 9:07 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • heck no. i do what i do, and he knows to help around the house and with the kids. i do make him feel like the 'big strong man' by giving him the chores like taking out the trash, and 'big' stuff that doesnt need done every day. i have told him, and he understands that when he goes to work its like a vacation from the nuthouse.

    Answer by jcsmummy at 9:17 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

  • While I am not married (and never have been), I've been with my boyfriend for the past 2.5 years and NO, he is not the boss in my house!! :)

    Answer by michelle121003 at 9:31 PM on Dec. 15, 2008