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how do you get your man to pay more attention to you and not his female friend?

my boyfriend has been paying alot more attention to his female friend and basically ignoring me. i have started to have sex with him more and massaging him without him asking (these are things he wanted) but i am still getting ignored and i just don't know what to do.

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SkyBlueEyedGrl

Asked by SkyBlueEyedGrl at 12:32 AM on Jul. 13, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • In my opinion it is unacceptable to have close friends of the other sex when you're married. If he was occassionally talking to her on the phone or something or only hanging out with her with you there that is one thing, but any more than that and the lines are getting blurred.
    Anna_2250

    Answer by Anna_2250 at 12:40 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • NOT TO SOUND NEGATIVE BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE THERE A LITTLE MORE THEN JUST FRIENDS BUT I WOULD START HANGING OUT WITH HER BE IT WITH HIM AND HER OR JUST HER BUT THEY DONT NEED TO BE TOGETHER ALONE PERIOD
    SARAH20

    Answer by SARAH20 at 12:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • maybe u could surprise him. how long have u guys been toether? he might be getting bored and she is a new distraction, so i would do something that knocks his boots off so that u become the main attraction again. and im not talking about more sex or massages. also, i would talk to him about how u feel about this, and try to see if he would be able to tell u why he is acting as he is.
    kissmiss213

    Answer by kissmiss213 at 12:45 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Talk with him and let him know how you are feeling. If he doesn't respect that your feelings, then you should evaluate your reasons for staying in the relationship when you deserve more. I think it's disrespectful to spend so much time with someone of the opposite sex when your in a relationship. Let him know how you feel, even if you trust him it gives ppl the idea that he's available.
    ChattyWifePlus2

    Answer by ChattyWifePlus2 at 1:07 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Talk.. Communicate... Sounds like he may have some issues... Don't feel like you have to do these things to keep this man. Make sure he's giving something in the relationship too... Remember... You are worth loving too.. You are worthy of attention and flattery.. If he's not into it.. maybe its time to pursue something else.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 1:49 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Well I would tell him how I felt, I have a best friend who is a girl and my hubby just loves her, and I sometimes get jealous because they hang out alot but it is at our house. It was just because they have alot in common, she is more like one of the guys, she likes to drink and play video games, that sort of thing. But I would keep a close eye on things.
    lisablack

    Answer by lisablack at 11:59 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Talk to him. Every healthy relationship has good communication and I think if you are able to communicate your feelings to him that he would be more receptive to fixing the problem. If he is becoming too good of friends with this female friend I would talk to him about your problem with that. I know there are some people who will be "friends" and there is more...its not always though. I have a really good friend who is a guy and there is nothing sexual between us.
    HeatherTurner

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 3:37 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • You know that when someone is turning away from you the last thing you want to do is hover over them. Then they feel they can keep doing what they're doing and you'll allow it and keep trying harder. They think they get the best of both worlds. You need to go the other way. Tell him that him spending time with her is unacceptable and that he needs to be thinking about your relationship and where he wants to go with it. Then find your own things to do, people to be with. Don't always be waiting on him. Don't pay him a lot of attention and don't show jealousy. Then, you will see where his priorities lie. If he starts showing you more attention, is willing to give her up, etc. you've got your answer. If he doesn't care and keeps things the same, not caring that you're spending more time away you've also got your answer. It may not be the one you want but it's better to know now than later when it will hurt more! God bless.
    jackimci

    Answer by jackimci at 4:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

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