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Am I normal?

I didnt know where to post this, but here we go. Please dont judge me either.
I feel like a terrible mother I ended up getting pregnant at 21 (we use bc but obviously doesnt always work), my now husband and i had our rough patches and we love our son to pieces he is our world, but there are times where i sit here and feel like I resent having him, I had to mature and grow up so quickly and our friends are all childless and still dont get that we cant go out all the time and we cant stay out late... But there are times where I miss that life (not the parties i wasnt much of a partier), but the freedom, I miss being able to go do whatever and now I am in debt due to the birth of my son, we had to take out a loan to get out own place and credit cards to buy the things we needed. I work 2 jobs and so does my husband just to pay bills.... My point here is sometimes i feel like i wish i never had him, sometimes i wish i never met my husband becuase if i didnt would i be here? like i said i feel awful for saying it, and i have spoken with my doctor they ruled out depression, maybe its normal to feel this way sometimes, but i feel like a horrible mother when i do feel this way... Currently my son is napping and my husband is at work so obviously my mind wanders so currently yes i kind of feel this way. I feel like everyone else who are our friends are doing so much better than us, and we just messed everything up... What can i do to stop feeling this way?? Help please.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • You need to decide on some long term goals and decide on how you can best reach them. Remember too that everyone elses life is not all that great. You do not know all the nitty gritty. Look for the positive. Find some mommy play groups so that you can meet other mothers.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Hahaha... No one can judge because you posted as Anon

    The only time I feel like that is when my kids remeind me they are little people? Like this morning my youngest (4) asked me why my plant was in his way (the way he was walking), insisted it be moved, and I stated it was there to get extra sun yesterday, he could have walked around! I was thinking he's like 2 feet tall, making demands, and talking like a mini adult? I think I was more thrown off by the fact he's a child... I am the grown up

    However I know fuill well where you are coming from, I went to college (Nursing, than Adimistrative Justice and Corrections as a minor, than MicroComputer Ops)... I never saw myself when I was younger being a SAHM, but it took a change of attitude and finding ways to make it positive... changing my negative thinking

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 4:56 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I posted as anon so i couldnt get messages from people bashing me (its happened before), im already dealing with feeling like shit due to this i dont need others making it worse. I appreciate everyones insight though, its just tough... In the past six months i have lost two very close friends of mine and it had made me realize to appreciate my life for what it is. but yo ucant help how you feel.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:59 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I am a bit surprised you are the only one with a kid, I knew so many people with kids before I got pregnant (I got pregnant @ 22) that it was no big deal, granted we do have our financial problems but I never blame my daughter for that. We are actually expecting another in DEC (I just turned 23) so I understand how you feel about birth control not always working, but we will get through it and we will have 2 beautiful children.

    Answer by AF4life at 5:04 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I am in my 30s with 2 kids and still miss getting to act like an 'adult' at times. I'm not sure that ever goes away. I've known many people that are negligent, stay out late anyway, leave kids with neighbors/family on a regular basis so they can party, etc. Kuddos for being responsible and taking care of your son yourself. Sounds like life is rough right now. What about therapy or self help books? I get down when I'm not doing anything for myself (whether is reading, crafts, gardening, etc). Once I invest in me and tend to my needs, the world looks alot better.

    Answer by AntoinetteF at 5:04 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I am currently doing therapy.. I know of a girl who is younger than i and her son is the same age as mine, she wouldnt just neglect him and leave him with her mother or other people all the time, but when he was an infant i was home with my son (due to the feeding every 3 hours and i was bf at the time), my husband went out to a farwell party for our friend he returned to tell me she was there and she left her son in his car seat upstaires so she could drink and smoke. I was appalled. You are right at least i am not like that. Thank you for your compliment it meant a lot to hear it from someone who doesnt know me, I feel like those around me who say the same thing say it because its the right thing to do.... Its good to know there are others out there who feel the same sometimes.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:10 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Don't forget too, that while it's not always fun or glamorous, being a parent has fantastic rewards. The older they get, the better it gets (in my opinion). My kids are 3 and 8 and we have a great time together.

    Answer by AntoinetteF at 5:37 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I know how you feel, I felt like at times when I first had my son. But it does get easier as they get older, mine are 3 1/2 and 5 now.. My suggestion would be to find a mom's group that way your son can play with the kids and you will have other moms to talk to, or if you can't find one like me start a hobby or craft that you like. Take some me time, even if its only for an hour while he's napping but use a little bit of time to do something you like to do. Good luck and hang in there.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 5:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

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