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2 Bumps

I guess time doesnt heal all wounds :( i need some advice

First off I wanna start by saying im young , im 20, married & have a baby. I got married when I was 19.... Please dont bash this post, if your going to stop reading, im looking for advice.

OK, My husband and I only dated 7 months before getting married. We go married after one semister of college. He really is the love of my life, great father, great husband. But while we were starting our first semister in college he had to go off to a differnt school. In August I got pregnant, and I also found out he was texting/ calling a girl that had gone to high school with us. It broke my heart. I was completly sick, I ended up losing the baby 4 weeks later. The dotors said it could have been stres related. I ended up staying with him. a few weeks later I got pregnant again & we got married. we've been married a little over half a year. I am still heartbroken over him going behind my back , lieing & deleting text. I cant let it go. I've tried to forgive him. I tried talking to her, I tried praying about it. Nothing has helped. Everytime i bring it up, it starts a huge fight. He's like its old crap and ive said sorry.

Today he finally said id have to stop bringing it up or it is going to ruin our marriage. He said since i decided to stay with him through that then i shouldnt bring it up.

Now im like should i have even gotten married to him, or should i have broken up with him then. I thought time healed all wounds....... it doesnt, it still hurts. I consider what he did as cheating because he lied. He had another relationship behind my back.Has anyone ever been cheated on? what happened?

mainly.... what helps?????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You want to break up your marriage over some text messages?

    Look, I'm not bashing you for your age, but I am going to refer to it, and his, for a moment. Young people are more impulsive, and your relationship was also young as well. Give the guy a break, he made a mistake. You should let it go.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 5:59 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Trust was broken. It is not as simple of time heals all wounds when trust is broken. He needs to realize that as well as you.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 6:00 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Time does heal most wounds but something like that doesn't heal quickly. Maybe you need to talk to someone else about it that can help you get past it, like a councelor or something.
    countrygirl06

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 6:05 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • While he did betray your trust, you also chose to forgive him. You cant keep bringing up the past, I suggest you find ways to help you move forward, whether it's through counseling or some other way but I could see this potentially hurting your relationship if you keep bringing up the past. Is he doing things right now that would cause you to believe he's being unfaithful?
    Mommyx2BG

    Answer by Mommyx2BG at 6:07 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • he has a point of not bringing it up anymore. he took you marrying him as forgiving him for the past descrepencies. It sucks that you are going thru this but you need to let it go or let him go.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 6:09 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I wanted to add, just flip it around and put yourself in his shoes, would you want him to constantly bring up stuff that you did in the past? I'm sure after awhile it would become very frustrating.
    Mommyx2BG

    Answer by Mommyx2BG at 6:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • WOW.. you are Young but, you are married & have a Baby so, it is time to grow-up.. if you really could not Forgive him for Texting another girl then NO- you should not of married him- but, you did & had a Baby- you need to decide if this is worth your marriage & family falling apart- if it is then you need to move on & if it is not then you need to Let it Go.. lots of luck!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 6:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • The key is to figure out why. Why is this still bothering you? Doesn't is remind you of someone else who hurt you? Are you worried it will happen again? Do you feel responsible for the loss of your first pregnancy? What ever it is, you don't need him to figure it out. You may need a therapist, but this is something you have to resolve within yourself. I hope this helps and I wish you the best. xo
    kidnappedbylove

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 6:46 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Listen, that is ancient history and happened before you got married. You are married to him now and the other girl is gone. He chose you. Get over it. Leave it alone. He married you so take it at that. You won, not her. Never bring it up again, its ancient history.
    BrendaW.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 6:46 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • why'd you even marry him if you still heart broken over something before you two got married?
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

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