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Clothes hoarder?

My oldest daughter is 11 and she is a clothes hoarder. She refuses to pass clothes down to her younger sisters even if they no longer fit her or she never wears them.

She has a drawer full of shirts but only wears about five of them. The rest sit there and are never worn. Some still have the tags on or have been worn once... last year. If I try and sort those shirts out (they're easy to spot since they are jammed into the bottom of her drawers) she freaks out and throws a tantrum and says they are hers but she NEVER wears them.

Her 8yo sister could be wearing them right now. And the stuff that no longer fits her 5yo sister could be wearing.

She acts like giving up clothes (mind you they don't fit or she doesn't ever wear because she doesn't like the color or style or whatever) is like asking her to cut off an arm or something.

Anyone else have a clothes hoarder?

Answer Question

Asked by justanotherjen at 7:16 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think you need to explain to her that if she doesn't wear them she needs to either give them to her sisters or sell them, if not it will only get worse as she gets older. Maybe make her give away 1 shirt to each sister a month.

    Answer by AF4life at 7:22 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • well she lives under your roof right? you make the rules. if she is no longer wearing them then she needs to pass them down. plain and simple.

    Answer by amberpaiz at 7:51 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • @amberpaiz--easier said than done. Kind of hard to "make" her pass them down when she hides them or takes them back out of her sisters' drawers and then hides them somewhere. Then she throws a full on tantrum like a 2yo. And then she takes it out on her sisters (hitting, kicking, biting, throwing things at them) because she doesn't want to give them up. She has behavior issues.

    Surprisingly, though, she voluntarily gave up most of her shirts and the summer stuff that didn't fit her. There are a few tops she's still arguing over even though they are a size too small. And a pair of shorts that area freaking size 2T! They were always big but she's had them since she was 3 and I had to force her to hand them down last summer to the youngest girl (who was 4). She wanted to keep them again. Oy.

    It's progress, though.

    Comment by justanotherjen (original poster) at 8:01 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I used to have an issue with this and still kind of do with my stuff.I don't hoard nescessarily but it is very hard for me to let things go. When I was younger we were evicted several times so I lost a lot of things that were important to me.We were also very poor so it felt like if I gave anything away I wouldn'thave enough for myself because I wasn't sure if it would be replaced so that I would have clothing,even if things didn't fit.I know this is most likely not the situation for your daughter or the reason behind her issue and it may just have to do with not wanting to give HER things to her sisters.
    For practical advice I find it easier to give away the stuff that doesn't fit if I have something to replace it with.If you can afford it take her shopping and let her pick out something and then let her pick what to hand down to her sisters.If that's not possible or doesn't work you might try to really find out why from her.

    Answer by lizziebreath at 8:49 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Mine is a clothes-a-holic but they go when they are no longer in the most perfect shape. Don't pass them down, take them out and take them to a consignment store, use the credit to buy clothes for the younger ones. It isn't fair the older one is getting all the new stuff anyway. If she throws a fit, you need to take control of that child. She is 11. What do you think is going to happen in a couple of years when she wants to stay out all night with a boy? Are you going to let her do what she wants because she is going to do it anyway and she is throwing a baby fit?

    Answer by attap5 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

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