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3 Bumps

I don't know how to help someone close to me..... Please read this and if you've been in or are in the same situation as her please advise me!!!

I know this woman who has just had her first baby. He is a sweet wonderful little boy, fussy sure but not too fussy, to me anyway. She had a very hard pregnancy, delivery and recovery. She has family who is ready, willing and often helping. Her husband wakes during the night with the baby because if she has disrupted sleep she is less likely to have a good day. She is on anti depressants and anxiety meds and see's a psychologist. Mornings are praticularly bad for her and it's hard to get her to do things sometimes. Her moods switch on the drop of a dime one day and the next she's great. I don't know if it's the meds not working or if something else should be done.
She looks to me for advise because I have a few kids and one close in age to her's. I can't seem to give her the advise that works for her. We're very different mothers. I tell her what I do or what she could try but it doesn't seem to be a good fit for her. I'm at a loss.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Suggest to her, or her dh, that they may need to talk to the doc about switching meds.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 9:19 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Sounds like she needs a psychiatrist in addition to her psychologist. If her moods change so much, have they considered a mood disorder like bipolar or something? Antidepressants usually make people with mood disorders worse. What is her diagnosis and who diagnosed her? Are they saying it is postpartum depression?


    Answer by momofkids at 9:29 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Is she bipolar? Her medicine might need to be adjusted.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:33 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Anxiety and depression is different than being bi-polar. Bipolar disorder is depression and "mania" where the person is very happy and basically the opposite of depressed. Anxiety is not the same thing. There are several different prescriptions on the market for anxiety and depression, and sometimes a change in dosage can help as well. If she feels the medication has helped some then maybe the change in dosage could help instead of a complete change. Also, if the anxiety is not as much of a problem, there are additional medications she can take that will aid the anti-depressive side of the medication without a change in her current prescription. I would gently suggest to your friend that she speak with her doctor about her options with medication. Good luck!

    Answer by MrsB0311 at 9:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • The seeds you plant don't always grow right away. Just keep setting an example for her. Plus you can lead a horse to water but they wont always drink. But when it starts to affect your life you may have to let go..

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Sounds like she might be bipolar and needs her meds adjusted. She needs to see her psych. dr asap.

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 9:51 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Has she always been this way or just since having the baby? If this has been going on since before I would say maybe she needs to discuss this with her doc and may be bipolar, but if this just happened since the baby was born, she may be suffering from post partum depression. Either way she may need her meds switch as the other ladies said.

    Answer by amber1330 at 10:06 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • If her moods change very frequently like changing a few times within minutes it could be borderline personality disorder which sadly there are no meds for I know because I have it. What needs to be done is a cocktail of meds addressing other things like the depression, anxiety and insomnia I was put on trazadone for that which helps me sleep and also have some antidepressive qualities and then she needs a therapist that treats the illness not all of them do and then to look into dialectal behavior therapy its the only known effective treatment for borderline personality disorder. You could look up information on the illness to get a criteria list, you have to have 5 of the 9 criteria to be diagnosed, if that isn't it perhaps bipolar and they often give you an anti-psychotic for that


    Answer by DianeMary at 11:02 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • Thank you ladies. She has always been somewhat moody and it did get worse when she was pregnant and then even more after having the baby. Anxiety is a pretty big part of her problem it seems. I will suggest she talk to her dr about adjusting her meds, probably to her dh as he seems to have more influence on her in that way.
    With personality disorders and bipolar isn't there usually a family history of it? As far as we know there is no family history of any of this.
    As far as letting her go if this starts to affect my life, that will never happen. As I said she is very close to me and I would never leave her, not an option.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:25 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

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