Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What exactly does this require?

Ok, so to make a long story short, I'm trying to adopt a family friend's teenage daughter's child. She is trying to decide if she wants to let me adopt her or just go ahead and have an abortion. I just want to know before hand what exactly I will need to do to adopt the baby and how long it will take. I'm not sure how to even get it started.

Answer Question
 
Razzle_Dazzle1

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 10:24 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • Your best bet would be to speak with an adoption lawyer.
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 10:26 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I'm planning on doing that but I'm hoping to find a way to do this without lawyers, if I can but I'm not sure if I will be able to.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 10:31 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You have to have an attorney at least.. You have to have a completed home study.. Your attorney can tell you more..
    kponce

    Answer by kponce at 10:35 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • I don't know if doing it without an attorney would be wise. You definitely want to make sure everything is done to protect everyone's rights.
    MrsMWF

    Answer by MrsMWF at 10:52 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You can't do it without a lawyer, and you'll need to have a homestudy done. The laws are different in each state, but those two things are pretty much universal. You need to make sure it's done correctly for everyone's benefit.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:46 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • It is too early for lawyers. For now, as this girl decides what to do, just be an impartial voice of reason...a real friend. She needs you more then you need lawyers at this point. Good luck to you all.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:17 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I think she needs to decide whether she intends to have an abortion or give birth first, before any adoption plans are considered.

    It is premature to talk about adoption this soon. She decides first whether to have an abortion or go ahead and give birth. Then she needs to explore both parenting and adoption. Until she gives birth though, if she does, she cannot really make a valid decision about whether to parent or relinquish.

    How long it takes and how it is done depends on the state you both reside in. It is necessary to insure that all the legal requirements are met. But, I think it is far too soon to talk to an adoption lawyer. Plus, I would worry that an adoption attorney is not a good idea this early.
    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:20 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I would speak to a lawyer about what you would need to do....
    momof2redhedz

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 12:51 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • When I hear of stories like this, I feel that the talk of adoption is the family's knee-jerk reaction to discovering that their teen is pregnant. The family needs to take a breath and absorb this news and support her as SHE thinks about what she wants to do. She may not know what her heart feels for this child (and the soon-to-be grandparents are treating this as a "situation" instead of a beloved grandchild) until she meets her child in person. Every unplanned pregnancy doesn't have to end in adoption OR abortion (and you really can't compare the two.) But my heart feels for you wanting to help them out. Things are just a lot more complicated than you may realize. I wish you and her good luck!
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:42 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • She doesn't want the child. Right now, according to her, keeping the child is not an option. She is now deciding whether or not to have an abortion or give the child to me. If she decides that she wants the child before the adoption is final, then that is up to her. Her mother is treating this like a beloved grandchild. She would rather see the child raised by me then by her child whom she knows isn't ready for the responsibility or killed in the womb.
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Comment by Razzle_Dazzle1 (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.