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3 Bumps

What's your opinion? (kinda a long story)

How do you tell someone to mind their own business w/o bein rude.. Ok here's the deal... my husband and i are livin in a rental house of my fathers.. he thinks bc we live here tht i have to mind him and all.. im 20 and husbands 24.. so anyway everytime we go somewhere i get bitched at bc i sometimes go out past 9 and my daughter is with us(bigdeal) (its not like i go party or do anything fun.. every now and then we go out to eat and we have to go to walmart alot for her milk ) so anyway everytime we go somewhere we get questioned then bitched out bc we went somewhere.. or everytime we go eat he tells me how fat i am and am gonna be if we go out to eat.. he tells me how i should raise my daughter and completely disrespects my opinion on things.. if i put her to be he comes out and pursposely wakes her up and I have to stay up with her the rest of the night.. he always tells my husband what he should and shouldnt do and if i dont like someone he'll bring them out to my house... im tired of bein disrespected and if i mention anything he always goes to the fact tht we live in his rental house and he can do what he wants.. o and he drinks ALOT and always comes out here and gets drunk KNOWING tht i hate it.. i dont mind if he drinks around us but hes a very mean drunk :/ .. my mom hasnt been in my life for years and wont even come see her new granddaughter so i just shut her out so he calls her up and tells her and her husband to come down and spend the night at my house and invites my step niece over for the 4th of july (when i was pg she new my baby had fluid on her brain and she said i was gonna have a retarded baby which still makes me furious.. ) so i dont want her around my baby.. am i just a bitch or rightfully angry...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Jul. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Rightfully angry he's being a jerk his house or not if you are paying rent her is a landlord and has rules to live by look up your landlord tenant laws and tell him to butt out i'm sorry you're going through this my in laws are like that we don't live in their rental but they believe if they buy something for my daughter it gives them the right to tell us how to raise her we finally had to tell them to back off hope your situation gets better good luck
    krissii

    Answer by krissii at 11:54 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • You are not a bitch you have every right to be upset. I think that you and your husband should start saving up for a place to stay that way you won't have to rent from your dad. Once you get your own place then he won't have any say so in what you do. He shouldn't have any say so right now but he feels since it's his place you still have to follow his rules it really don't matter how old you guys are. And your mom is missing out on a something great. One day she is going to wish that she came around your daughter more and what she said was really mean I honestly dont blame you for feeling the way that you feel. Good luck and keep your head up!
    MsPhyllis1985

    Answer by MsPhyllis1985 at 11:57 PM on Jul. 2, 2011

  • WOW- i am sorry that you have to deal with so much! you have every right to be Mad, Upset & i'm sure your Feelings are Hurt too- if there is any way you can; i think it's time for you& your husband to find a New Place to live- you should not have to put up with your Dad Disrespecting you like this- i hope everything works out for you- lots of luck:)

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • he has ALWAYS disrespected me.. i moved out of state one time and he completely quit talkn to me then started comin around about a year later and acted like he changed and asked me to move bak home so i did and within 3 months started treatin me like shit again.. we really have no way to leave right now (nowhere to go/cant afford it) we're tryin to save for our own place but have so much other stuff goin on to pay for..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • It sucks...nothing is ever truly free. We end up paying for it somehow. I hope you are able to get out of there soon. I would give you advice, but your dad sounds like the kind of guy who just doesn't care to be nice. Try not to let him get to you.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 12:26 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • If you're not paying any rent, I would say suck it up because he's doing you a favor by providing housing when he doesn't have to. That's the price to pay for taking the offer of free housing. If you're paying rent then he's crossed the line. If you can afford to rent elsewhere, then do that. Mixing family and business is never a good idea. If you're getting some benefit by staying at his rental house then you have to see it as a condition of living there. I suspect that he secretly just wants more attention and doesn't want to feel left out. He may have a weird way of showing it. Try an experiment for a few weeks and invite him over frequently for dinner or to spend time with the kids, ask him for advice on some things, show him you appreciate him and see how his attitude changes. If it doesn't change then it's just him wanting control and you have to decide to stay or move.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 9:42 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • At 20, he may feel that you need advice with your young family, and some parents give advice whether it's asked for or not. If you don't want him coming and going and inviting people to your house, talk to him, tell him that is not what you want, if he doesn't listen, move. I know that at 20, you think you have life figured out, because I did and so did everyone else I know, as the years pass, you will find out that you still need advice and a girl needs her dad. Good luck to you!
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 9:54 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

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