Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Any advice on how help a 9 yr old adjust to a newborn and new life style?

My 9yr old daughter is having a difficult time sharing me with her newborn step sister and her new Daddy. She has to have my 100% attention 24/7. She is turning into a totaly different child. The negetive comments, the attitude, and recently violent actions are becoming unbarable. I have never had to be firm w/ her because she has always been a well behaved, polite, outgoing, and high spirtited little person. She does have an older brother that is now 18yrs old and lives in his own dewelling as of 2 months ago. The grandparents and everyone else that is around has tried to talk w/ her to try resolve her issues. It helps for a couple hours and there she starts the negative comments & whinning.

Answer Question

Asked by cmizesunshine at 9:12 AM on Jul. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • First of all, are you the mother to both the 9 year old and the newborn? If so, the two girls are HALF sister, NOT step sisters. Secondly, you say her new Daddy, I'm presuming you got married recently. These are HUGE changes for a 9 year old, but they can be worked out. You also say she has an 18 year old brother which means she has been the baby for 9 years, that can be overcome also. My son was 9, almost 10 when I had my daughter. I involved him in her care, changing diapers, making bottles, letting him hold and feed her. He was enthralled with her for a long time, loved feeling like he was helping, and bonded very well with his baby sister. They are now 20 and 10, and don't know what they would do without each other. I hope it all works out for your family and I'm sure it will, it just takes time and with all the new changes in your daughter's life suddenly, it may take her a little longer to adjust.

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 9:29 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Some children have no problems accepting a new family. But It can become difficult for the child to live with a new family member specially when that member is not blood related.
    How is your DD doing in school?

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 9:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • My DD is 9 and we just welcomed DS a a month ago. Mine isn't having the same issues. Though I've noticed some mild changes in behavior. I agree you should get your DD involved in the infants care. Make sure your doing things together. Take DD shopping for baby cloths and get her an outfit too.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:08 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • If they are BOTH your children then they are half, not step. This is a lot of change to go through. For you, it's exciting, fun, but for her, it's a lot of new stuff she had no say in. Try to be patient with her.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:18 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • let her help as much as possible with the baby. Ask for help.. i.e. hunny can you sit with the baby for a minute so i can run to the bathroom? Things like that make her feel like she is needed. If you go for walks ask her to come along and see if she wants to push the stroller. Also try spending one on one time with her. Leave the baby home and go to the mall or for ice cream. She will appreciate this. As for the stepdad thing. Hopefully in due time she will warm up.

    Answer by HappyMomma2832 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Thank you for all the advice and correctilons.

    Comment by cmizesunshine (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.