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How can i make my son love me and love his yonger brother

my son is 4 and half he finished his preschool ,sudenley he start hating me and the little baby who is 10 month old ,he was very happy child and loving ,his father went and married to someone so he sometime comes to us but he ask me i love my father more than u because u get angry with me and u punish me .HE hit his brother ,dont let him touch anything ,and even ask him why u look at me .I want to know how i can make my child close to me and the little one and we can be like team and again i can see him happy laughing which he forget and start staying angry . I start feeling that am not good mother .and am very much angry with my self .Because this both kids r all what i have in my life thx

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Asked by hadia at 9:54 AM on Jul. 3, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Your question is confusing, does your son live with you or your ex? Either way, sounds like he is still dealing with not having you both under the same roof. I'm sure he does love you, he just sounds angry with the situation. Show him lots of love, give him his space, and time will make the rest of the difference. Good Luck!

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 10:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • It sounds like your oldest son is mad about his dad get married. How long ago did you two split up? He might feel like it was his fault and is taking it out on you because you are there. Try to find time to spend with just him and try to give positive comments when you can. If he helped with his brother praise him and try to show him that you aren't always yelling.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 10:01 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • It definitely sounds like he is upset about his parents splitting or his Dad remarrying. Kids understand A LOT more than we give them credit for. I guarantee he loves you and his little brother, but at 4 he doesn't understand all his emotions as well as not knowing how to express them. Some family counseling or one on one counseling would be beneficial for him to discuss his feelings. Best of luck.

    Answer by hill_star03 at 10:37 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • sounds like he and you are both stressed out and he feels slighted.. could be from all the new things happening (new baby, new sm, father gone, etc)... and he may feel he's losing the attention he use to get..
    I would first try to set aside a special day for him this week.. get a sitter if possible and just make it an all about him day.. no yelling, let HIM be in control (obviously safety first though, but otherwise, let him pick what he wants to do and be attentive).. during lunch or dinner try talking to him about his feelings. why he feels this way and ask him how he would like to see things changed between you too.

    if he feels he gets into too much trouble with you perhaps it's how you do time outs or punishments as well. when he DOES get in trouble.. try calmly putting him in time out after ONE warning only.. give him his 4 minutes, then when he's done, have him apologize and give hugs and kisses..

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:16 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • also on the day to day,, you have to make sure you have one on one time with each of your kids.. maybe while baby is napping, or get baby to bed an hour earlier so you get spend an extra hour with your oldest to let him know you still love him. In my home my youngest wakes up about an hour before her sister... so that is her and I's bonding time in the morning, but she'll go to sleep an hour before her sister, so then its my time with my oldest to bond.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:20 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

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