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5 Bumps

Trying to convince my husband....

We recently moved five hours away from where we were to be closer to my family and find better jobs. There was a 2 bedroom brick house next to my mom's house that has a fenced in yard, and it's only 375$ a month for rent. The woman living across the street was supposed to be moving into it last Aug. By Nov. she still hadn't moved. The landlord wasnt gettign any rent from anyone and none of the utilities were turned on. The people who left the house had trashed it. (its a big drama filled, complicated story). So I finally called the landlord and said Dh and I would clean out the house, turn on the utilities and could be living in there before Christmas. I had a chekc in my hand. He still flipped flopped around and hesitated (he didn't want to be mean...) and finally by mid-dec the woman across the street moved into the house (hers got foreclosed). Well now it's July, she still hasn't paid a dime of rent, the utilites arent in her name and she;s not paying those either. The landlord called my mom asking if dh wanted to move in and apologized for not letting us have teh house when he should have. The house does need some work and our current lease isn't up until Jan. I made teh suggestion of the landlord kicking this worthless woman to the curb. Keep the house empty for Dh and I and we will get the utilities and stuff turned on and instead of paying rent we will spend a few months working on it before we move in in Jan. The landlord has agreed to this. But dh said no :( He's still mad because the landlord wouldn't give us the house in the first place. He won't even consider talking about it. It would save us almost 200$ a month in rent. And my mom watches the baby for me, so that would be so much easier to have her right there every day, esp in the winter. And my parents have a 25 ft pool lol. Any ideas on how I can talk to him to at least consider my idea? He is just flat out saying no and refuses to even talk to me about it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jul. 3, 2011 in Home & Garden

Answers (15)
  • The landlord had probably given his word to the woman before you asked about it. A man's word is everything to some. He felt an obligation to let her move in. Now that he sees she's worthless, he's admitting he made a mistake. Your dh should at least listen to someone that admits a mistake and wants to correct it. Has your dh never made a mistake? Did someone give him a second chance? Sound like the whole deal would be to your benefit. If dh is too stubborn to listen, maybe a baseball bat would help him listen. lol

    Answer by Kimimale at 11:50 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I would say no even for the terms, not just for him not letting us have it last year. Sounds like this landlord is kinda fishy so if I were you, I would get EVERYTHING he is saying in writing. Maybe then, your husband will be more inclined to believe him.

    Answer by keisha613 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I would just look for another place... DO you really want to deal with someone who cant make up his mind, and has that poor judgment of people? Good Luck

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 11:56 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Even without the landlord issue, I don't think I'd want to live right next door to my in-laws or my parents. A block away fine, but I like some privacy, and to live right next door means there really isn't much privacy.

    It sounds like your husband hesitated the first time...could this be the reason? It may be convenient in some ways to live next door, but I think it's good to have a little separation.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:57 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Yes I agree with keisha613. Acknowledge your husband's concern....make a list of all the good and bad reasons why you should or should not live there and see if he will go over it with you. Point out something you can do with the extra $200. That would be nice to have someone to watch the baby right next door and be able to use their pool. But there are also lots of other reasons why some would not want to live right next to their spouses parents. See if he will complete the list with you to get him talking about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Holy crap that is cheap!

    Answer by bouncingsoul at 11:59 AM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • If you can't agree on things, you shouldn't be doing something. If $200 isn't that much of a big deal to him, then it really shouldn't matter. Maybe he doesn't want to live next door to your mother. That can be pretty tough no matter how much you get along with your in-laws. Maybe he'll change his mind before January, maybe he is thinking of something else entirely that he is trying to work out before your lease is up. Maybe he is just happy where he is.

    Answer by attap5 at 12:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • The only reasoning he has given me to as why he doesn't want to move is because "he should have given us the house when he had the chance" So who knows what is going through his mind. And my parents aren't overly nosey or anything. They aren't the type to just randomly come over or anything. And there's a big fence :) We have both agreed we are moving out of this house when the lease is up. our landlord now is just crazy. If the neighbors mow their lawn before dh gets a chance to mow ours, and ours is longer than everyone else's we will get a letter from the landlord saying we need to mow, even if it has only been a few days since he last mowed. One night an animal got into our outside trash cans and I didn't have time to clean it up before I went to work and he called me complaining about the trash all over the porch... so yea we are moving somewhere in Jan.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:14 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Your husband is acting like a child. Give him a blow job and as he is basking in the afterglow bring it up again.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 12:48 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Wow- I'd so jump on that- not only for the rent being $200 cheaper, but also for the pool! lol I'd just keep hinting at it, that it's what you really want, and that you all would be really happy there. Or, sit him down and talk about what fun things you could plan for the extra $200? That would get my DH. lol

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 1:02 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

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