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5 Bumps

Miscarriage at 16 weeks adult content

Yesterday I had a miscarriage. I started running a fever Friday night, thought nothing of it because a bad cold is going around. Got up about 5 am to pee, on the way to the bathroom, my water broke, by the time I got to the bathroom and sat down, I delivered the baby. Everything happened so fast. Apparently he passed sometime that week, fever was due to an infection from his passing. I'm home now, but still feeling really sick. Worst off, every time I close my eyes, I see him, we warped him and the placenta up in a blanket and took him to the hospital. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know what they did with his body. I know that the drastic changes in hormones can mess with me, so I hope that as my body levels out, that I will do better. But i cant get that image out of my mind. I have done really well keeping things together today so far, but I feel like I just need to break down and cry. I just can't do that in front of my other kids, they didn't know we were pregnant, we were waiting to surprise them at the ultrasound. So I don't want them to see me break down.

What do I do, how will I ever get that image from my head?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, we may not ever know what the reason is but..... I hope as the days go by you are feeling better and just remember that you do have a right to grieve even if it is when the other kids are in bed, go outside and cry. I suggest a nice tea, a book, and curl up on the couch and relax. Your body will need time to heal and the quiet time with help your brain to heal too!
    I hope you find some good in this.
    Take Care of Yourself
    Amanda11810

    Answer by Amanda11810 at 2:05 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • im praying for my love i hope every thing goes well n stay strong
    Whitea907

    Answer by Whitea907 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this ((((HUGS))))
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 2:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I think that it is okay to grieve in front of your children. You can cry in front of them, if they ask what is wrong you can just tell them you are sad. My dad died 12 days ago and I have been crying off and on for months. It is healthy for you kids to see you sad and upset sometimes, then when they grow up they will know it is okay to be sad sometimes too.


    Big hugs Momma! I am so sorry you are going through this.


     

    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 2:27 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Honey I am so sorry this happened.Maybe you could call the hospital.Maybe you could bury him or her.And give them a name.I think you need to speak with a grief counselor.they could help you best.And maybe a support group.This child did exist.Even if it was a short time.And you and your husband loved him or her very much.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:57 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • My mom had one at 16 weeks 9 years ago, she still goes crazy every year around the time it happened. It may never go away, the best you can do is learn to live with it. Depending on how old your children are, you may want to tell them
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I've had miscarriages before, but I never saw the baby, and I was never this far along. When it happened dh asked if there was any chance he could live if we got him to the hospital fast enough. All I could do is shake my head in shock.

    I knew something was wrong this entire pregnancy. I could feel that this was going to end. I just thought that after we hit the 12 week mark that it was just my hormones messing with me.

    DH and I haven't' talked much about it since we got home. He took care of everything at the hospital. So he knows what happened to his body, I just have to ask. I just don't know if I want to know. I had a friend that lost her baby at 19 weeks, they opted to cremate the remains but there was nothing left after that. Dh is not the type to choose burial. I haven't talked to him about a name yet. I think he is trying to cope by not thinking or talking about it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:40 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • oh honey my heart goes out to you god bless you and i will pray for you there is alot of good advice on here so stay strong and when you need to cry find something to keep the kids busy but close enought to watch
    starlia34

    Answer by starlia34 at 8:06 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your loss.

    I agree with giving him a name. Maybe you can do your own memorial service if that helps. You don't necessarily need a body to have a memorial. You could buy something for him and hang it, or plant a tree, or even get a tattoo.
    kmqw229

    Answer by kmqw229 at 12:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • group hugI'm so very very sorry. Miscarriages leave such a deep scar. I think maybe a memorial may help a little. It takes time. You DO need to grieve. Please don't suppress that for anyone elses benefit. I tell my son I don't feel good when he sees me cry.

    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 12:46 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

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