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Please Help!! I have a 20 month old daughter and i don't know how to discipline her. She gets very angry when she doesn't get her way. I have spanked her very few times but i hate doing it! I tried putting on time-out but she won't stay! I always try 2 be patient w/her and I say no nicely, but after a while i loose my temper and I give her a stern No! But I feel bad when i do this too!!

I am 23yrs old and a first time mother. I dont want her 2 ever be afraid of me but i want her 2 respect me and learn about consequences! My husband and i have had many arguments bcuz he pretty much does whatever she wants just so that he doesn't hear her cry! I dont know what to do!! Any advice?

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Asked by JulieFrancesca at 1:04 AM on Jul. 13, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (13)
  • stop the behavior now or you will be screwed in a yr.With my first it was non no honey.please stop mommy doesnt' like that. now he is a holy terror.With my second it was NO!!! and get back in the naughty chair.I have one really well behaved kid and one very naughty child

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • My daughter is 13 months old and she gets that way too. I don't believe in spanking or smacking the hand or anything, I feel it teaches them to be hit plus it would break my heart the way they look back at you. My hubby believes in it but we agreed not too.

    Be stern from the start put here somewhere where she can't get up or just put her there over and over and over again even if it takes 2 hours. I know it's really hard. Since she is almost 2 I would put her in time-out for 2 min. A min for each year, that is what Nanny911 sais and Super Nanny.

    Get back to me and tell me how things are.

    Answer by Hthr.S42288 at 1:16 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • i agree you have to stick with it or it will get worse later. i have a two year old son and he's the same way but i am slowly starting to see a difference. Keep going even if you feel horrible about doing it.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 1:17 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Sounds like you have strong willed child. I had one too.. Lots of love, patience and understanding... I remember trying to get my daughter to nap.. I'd stand over her with a paddle in my hand repeating.. Shut your eyes... Shut your eyes... (Of course, I was laughing so hard on the inside.. but she didn't know that.)

    Answer by pupmom at 1:42 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • My daughter is 18 months... If all else fails you can try this: I set up a playpen and whenever she started throwing herself around and nothing else worked I tell her firmly "Stop or you're going in time-out". If she continues, then I put her in the playpen and let her finish the tantrum in there. She will stand up and cry but she will stop crying when she's ready to come out. I bend down to her level and tell her firmly that I don't like for her to behave like that. When I take her out she is perfectly fine! I hope that helps... my daughter still throws her fits but I just point at the playpen and sometimes she'll actually stop! Good luck!

    Answer by msp12r at 3:10 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I know you said you feel bad, but a stern "no" won't hurt her. You need her to know that you are serious and not playing around. You'd rather have her crying because she doesn't get want she wants then have her crying because she got hurt. She will eventually catch on. Consistency is the key.

    Answer by JamieLK at 8:44 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • I would force her to learn about punishment. I had to put my son in time out for 4 hours one time for him to understand if he would just sit in the corner for 5 minutes he could get out. It literally took us 4 hours to get him to stand in the corner without crying and throwing a fit for 5 minutes. Now he is awesome at it. I don't suggest spanking at this age at all though, they will then be crying and throwing a fit out of pain or fear and that's no good.

    Answer by HeatherTurner at 3:29 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • You're looking at discipline all wrong. If you love her you will discipline her. You don't want her to be a horrible, disrespectful, disobediant, spoiled child! That means you have to teach her and the only way you can do that is with consistent instructions and consequences. Never spank in anger but spanking when a child is in danger, being outright disrespectful, or outright disobedient is helpful. If you don't believe in spanking, use consequences, but use them every time. A child feels more secure when they have boundaries. If they don't they will test you always trying to find where those boundaries are and how far they can push them. Your job as a parent is to establish the boundaries and not let them push them. This will get harder as she gets older if you don't get this under control. A child without discipline is an insecure and unloved child and it will show!You love her so show her by setting the limits! God bless.

    Answer by jackimci at 4:20 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • There is a great book called unconditional parenting, it teaches you how to teach and guide your children without using negativity. The ideas have worked wonderfully, even with my highly spirited toddler.
    Much Love,

    Answer by alex at 6:23 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

  • Baby proof your house. Home is where we should be able to fall apart. It is a safe place we can mess up and be forgiven. She should be able to touch things and walk around and not be yelled at every second. If you have an antique heirloom breakable vase on the coffeetable, move it.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:45 PM on Jul. 13, 2008

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