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Is there a chance he could get custody?

My husband is deployed & we will be divorcing when he returns. He has been saying that he can & will get custody of our 3 children. I am not an unfit parent & have been the one taking care of them the majority of the time. I do not currently have a job because when we were married we agreed on me being a SAHM. For those experienced in this aspect or been through this please let me know what the chances are of this happening. I know i could talk to legal & get info but cannot right now & this is just weighing heavy on me right now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Anything is possible hun :( but its hard to take kids from mom.
    sugamama3

    Answer by sugamama3 at 5:14 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • doubt he can get full custody. It doesnt matter that you dont have a job but I advise you to start looking right now. I even doubt he'll get primary custody. Military screws it for some people. He's going to work crazy ass hours and deployed a lot. a judge will want the kids to go somewhere where their routine isnt always changed or where they jump from place to place to place.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:14 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Ya'll will probably get shared custody but as long as you are a fit mother and he is a fit father, neither one will get full. Because he is in the military, you will probably get them most of the time. If you have been married more then 10 years, don't forget to ask for alimony too. My advise, work on getting a job before he comes back. My ex is Army and we were never married but he was told he couldn't even have full custody (not that he wanted it) because his is active duty and single.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:19 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • write me any time since we have something in common. I have been a stay at home housewife now for 10years and now going thourgh a divorce and I am not fit but trying to sue for full custody of our three girls 9,7, and 6. He works and I do not but will have to look for work. It might be doing it to see if you will back down. Mine is doing to control me yet. Sounds like we both have to fight for what we want. I have no friends or family around so email me and maybe we can help each other to compare notes to help each other out. If not hang in there and do what I am doing and do not give up. Fight, fight, look for work,etc.
    momindiana

    Answer by momindiana at 5:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I doubt highly that he can get full custody...you are there full time caregiver and you are not unfit in any way
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 5:30 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • a family member of mine went through this with 2 kids... they fought it out in court an because of his constant travel in military she was granted full custody an he pays a huge chunk of money for child support and at the time she was renting an working but the kids were taken care of... hope this takes a little bit of weight off your shoulders gl...
    19withtwins

    Answer by 19withtwins at 5:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Hes gonna be gone to much u will probably have them most of the time. But I think too, look for work.
    Blakesgirl31

    Answer by Blakesgirl31 at 5:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Him being in the military is totally to your advantage. They will make sure that he pays all of his child support. Also, if he stays active, there is no way he will get full custody. I agree you should look for a job now, even if it is only part-time. Make some arrangements for childcare to show the courts you are 100% capable of taking care of the kids on your own. Make sure you apply for full custody too. It is easier to start out tough and lighten up later than is the reverse. Unless you are in a hurry, I would let him file for divorce and put out the money for it. Also, start setting aside some money and looking into your housing options if you have to move. You could investigate a legal separation now too.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 5:55 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Also, are you still living in ya'll's home? Do you still share money? If not, you can legally demand that
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 6:01 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

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