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2 Bumps

I wanna keep her!

My dau's friend has a pretty rough home life. Mom is bi-polar, goes from 1 loser to the next & is out of work. Her & the kids live w/ gma who just lost her job too! (little to no food in the house) And an aunt who has her over a lot has 4 kids of her own & the uncle is downright nasty to the little girl. (make comments about her weight- she's a little chubby- but not obese by any means) I feel so bad for this girl & want to keep her! At least for the summer. My husb & I discussed it & I'm thinking of making the offer tommorow (she's spending the nite today) I dont wanna step on toes- just want to help out til things at home get better. Have you ever been in this situation? If so, I need suggestions please! :)

 
mrsmom110

Asked by mrsmom110 at 7:13 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 47 (254,311 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I would offer, but be very careful how you word it!! Something like "DD loves having----- over so much! Do you think it will be alright if she could just stay for the rest of summer?" Or something like that. Or if you are having a conversation, find a caring and helpful way to bring up the suggestion.

    GL I think you have a big heart hun.
    cueballsmom

    Answer by cueballsmom at 7:27 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • you can ask but realize one of two things will occur - 1) parents will blow up at you and your daughter may lose her friend or 2) parents may leave her with you permanmently.....are you willing for that full time commit? .......are you willing to chance that the parents will never allow her near you or your daughter again?.....is it worth the risks? decide those first and go with your gut........but make sure you get something in writing or you could get charges with kidnapping....
    southernlady184

    Answer by southernlady184 at 7:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • PS- as for the anon who asked if bi-polar made her unfit, if she is not getting treated for it, and bringing random men out of her kids life, then the answer would be yes,, not to be offensive, but like any other illness, you owe it to yourself and to your child to treat it, and not allow it to cause them pain.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:40 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I would be very careful how you phrase it. Make it sound more like your daughter wants a companion than that you're trying to take the girl out of a bad situation, if that makes sense.
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 7:23 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • my family did this with a few of our friends while growing up. Honestly if the situation is THAT bad, a majority of the time, the parents don't care and are more than happy to let the kid stay the summer.. (that's how my parents worded it, since we had a cottage on the lake, they offered to take ___ for the summer on our summer family vacation).. okay so we basically only went on the weekends, minus two weeks around the 4th of july, but like I said, their parents never really cared. My aunt did the same with her daughters one friend as well. They know their children are fed, and well cared for, and really all in all are in a better situation, but have the option to come home if and when they want or need to that way.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 7:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I agree with DragonRider,, I would simply say, Our girls have such a great time together, would you consider letting her stay with us for the summer? If the answer is no, then I wouldn't push!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 7:28 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • i have been there it is a painfull situation because it can turn out bad i got the girl in my situation but then the grandma got some bad advise and took her back now the girl is with drug addicts and going down the same road its a very complicated road you are getting in to unless you get something in writing dont do it just pray for her good luck
    starlia34

    Answer by starlia34 at 7:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • or if something happened in the family, they could go home to deal with that (such as a death in the family, wedding, etc).
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:00 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • my sister did this and her "new daughter" visited her bio family every weekend,holidays,....My sister approached the parents ( they had an older DD preggers) saying I know your hands are filled with ****,I can take ******* for a while . the bio family knew all the comings and goings when she got in school trouble,all medical app,.... good luck,
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 2:28 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Start out by asking if she can stay for the summer
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 11:22 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

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