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14 Bumps

Can someone tell me why parents of special needs kids insist on having their children in regular classrooms?

My SIL is a teaching student and got a job in a classroom. It is a regular classroom, not a special needs class. My SIL has charge of a severely autistic boy, who is 6. She has to do everything for him from getting him into the classroom itself to helping him eat his lunxh. Until she started helping, the teacher was spending 99% of her time with this child and had to ignor the rest of her class. The boy is non-verbal and very violent. He bit my SIL twice in one day, leaving marks both times.
As a parent of non-special needs children, I don't understand why a parents would want their child to be holding back an entire classroom of kids just so they can feel like their child is "normal" because he is in a regular class, not a special needs class. I don't understand how a school would allow a parents wishes to interfere with what is right for their child. I don't get why the parents of the non-special needs kids who are learning nothing in school aren't so pissed they don't just move their kids to another school.
I know that the parents of the special needs child will sue the school if they feel their child is being "discriminated against" when the school suggests that their child be put in special needs class, but come on....This is ridiculous. The boy can't talk, can't function, can't even not BITE the teacher's assistant. He should be in a special needs class where he can be treated the way he needs to be treated. His parents must be so selfish. There is no one they are doing this for but themselves.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (90)
  • It IS a problem if the child is disrupting the rest of the class. I know for some of you this is a very emotional topic, but for the parents of regular education students it is too. Every parent wants the best education possible for their child as they should. Just because you can put a child with special needs in a regular classroom, doesn't mean you should. I really believe that the rights of the other children to have a learning environment free from behavior issues supercedes the one child with the problem. I also don't believe (law or not) that the taxpayers should have to pay for a 1 on 1 aide for a child just so he/she can "feel" like a normal child. It is a huge burden on a parent, I get that, but the burden shouldn't be left to school to have to deal with.

    Answer by mjande4 at 8:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • The circumstance you're describing is extreme and should be looked into by the adults involved with that particular child, but as for the idea of segregating all special needs children, that is just outrageous. The way you've stated this question shows ignorance and intolerance.

    Answer by Queenie_Mab at 9:08 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • If a school can't afford to pay a special needs teacher, they shouldn't take in special needs children. Period.

    It is a public school. They can not deny ANYONE.


    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:58 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't want their child with a teacher that was properly trained to handle their disability. Id never want my child in a classroom where their needs were unable to be met. I'm sorry for your sister.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 9:07 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • She is mad but she makes a valid point. It could be stated with less aggression but it's valid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I am coming from the perspective of having been a teacher and the mom of a Special Needs child (Down Syndrome).
    First year teaching I had a Special Needs child in my classroom. I was not ready nor trained. I resented it...
    At the end of my career of 21 years I was in a bilingual classroom (also the Mom of a Down Syndrome child. ) My last year I had THREE Special Needs kids. By that time I had learned a lot of techniques of working with them, plus there was aide help provided.
    About my daughter: She never really qualified as having the ability of being in with her peers.She was always in a Life Skills classroom. Recently I withdrew her to homeschool her.
    About parents: . It is part of the grief process nearing the other side of the spectrum called "Acceptance" These kids deserve help, but parents also need to realize what they are asking of their children and teachers. ALWAYS hope, but be realistic.

    Answer by VeronicaTex at 9:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • THAT is an extreme case.
    DO NOT group all our kids in that manner!
    All the kids benefit by having special needs kids included in class. Would you want your child growing up being afraid of kids who weren't "normal" or feeling they could treat them like shit because of their disabilities??
    Consider yourself lucky. One little twist of fate and that child could have been YOURS.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:05 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Sometimes, it isn't the parents that insist, it is the school district not having somewhere to place him that would best benefit him. Not all school districts have classrooms or even entire schools for children that need educational help above and beyond the traditional school setting.

    As for the parents, so many think that if their child is in the regular classroom, then they are getting a regular education and will do better being with "normal" children.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:10 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • your question does make you sound like a judgemental jerk. if you don't have a special needs kid then you have no idea what it's like. nobody hands you a manual titled "how to handle your special needs kids". alot of times the school district takes advantage of the parents and persuade them to do something that isn't right. there isnt a lawyer at the school meetings telling you your rights as a parent, we kinda have to learn as we go. all i'm saying is, you've never been in this situation. so you don't know how hard it is to get your kid into the right school/class.

    Answer by ajs16919 at 9:29 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Yes, as a matter of fact, she has hit a nerve. It is extremely difficult to get the services you need for your child. It took a full year for me to get an appointment with the developmental pediatrician, then another 7 months to get a TSS. Then, another 2 months to get a behavior specialist and 1 more for mobile therapy. So, HOW do you know that this child's parents are not in the process of getting these services for him?

    Answer by TARARENEE at 9:35 PM on Jul. 3, 2011