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Long distance relationship advice?

Ive been seriously dating this guy for a little over a year. We plan to get married May 2012 but are not 'officially' engaged yet.....anyways its always been a long distance relationship. The way it works is he comes to town where my daughter and I live about once every 2months (his dad and a sister live here) then We visit him about every 3weeks for a week. The issue I have is when we visit its just us and hm. When he comes here, its him, us, and his family....he only comes here for like 3 maybe 4 days. I dont know know how much time I should spend with him and how much time to just back off so he can spend time with his family. Right now how it is is I dont make any plans when he's in town, so if he calls and wants to do something, I can. But it sucks because I never know. He never tells me anything because he stays at his dads (child custody agreement says no opposite sex overnight visitors when my daughter is home - even though my ex never chooses to see her I dont want to violate the order) and "doesnt know what his dads plans are." it honestly sucks. Obviously I want to see him, but I dont want to seem obsessive and I know his family already sees it as their time with him because I see him just wondering what I should expect....should I expect to see him or spend time with him everyday or should I just plan on like 1 day being mine? Its just all frustrating, I still havent gotten the hang of the long distance thing, but it is what it is. 6 months until college graduation then I can move :)

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Oh boy that's tricky, honestly, if he wants to see you, he'll make the time for you. Good luck honey, I hope it works out for you

    Answer by danichaos at 11:22 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I think the first thing you need to do is stop leaving everything open for him in case he calls. He knows you're leaving everything available for him so he feels no need to make concrete plans with you. Tell him you have a life, too, and you need firm plans. Tell him what you expect (every day? every other day? just one day?) and then find out what he thinks is good. Then make plans according to that.

    Long distance relationships are tricky, and I understand the feeling of wanting to see him, but you can't put your entire life on hold for him.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:27 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • GOOD communication!!!

    Answer by tspillane at 10:57 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

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