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I know this is mean, but....

have you ever had someone who is completely gross want to be with you?

Right after i turned 17 a guy who is the son of my aunts best friend has has a crush on me... at the time he was in his 30s ( now early 40s) ... He tried to call me once for a date and my dad told him i was too young to be getting phone calls from a man his age ( i told my dad about it so he would say something to the guy) ...

So now I am in my mid 20s - with a husband and pregnant with my 3rd child... and he is still at it... not in a stalker way but like he acts like he doesnt know I am married, he went away for awhile ( he SAID traveling the world) and when he came back he told his mom to talk to me to go on a date with him... my aunt had to say " uh she is a married woman with children" ...

yesterday my husband and I went out to dinner (with our kids) and the guy and his girlfriend ( who actually has some sort of mental problem) ... came in after us and sat at a table to where everytime I would look up I could see them -- he would be staring at me.. and before long his girlfriend was giving me nasty looks ...

He is a 40-some year old man, overweight, very hairy, no job and lives with his grandparents.. even if I was a single person i still wouldnt be interested... I have told my aunt to just tell him ( since I have actually never talked to him in person besides a "hi") to just stop ..and she says to just play along because it would hurt his feelings...

it actually makes me sick to my stomach and I dont know what to do ... i dont really even have a way I could tell him myself ( because I thought of having my husband even say something) ..

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Jul. 3, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Don't play along, if he has other issues or challenges that he deals with mentally, this may just be 'leading him on'.. in HIS eyes, even though you aren't! It may take you JUST being bold and telling him you aren't interested at all and that he makes you uncomfortable. IF you have your husband say something to him, he may later thing "oh her husband is just jealous" or something like that. He seems like that type of person.

    Make sure you don't say anything like, "you seem nice" or "I don't even know you" or anything like that.. could also "mislead" him.

    Yup, I've had more than one of these types in my life.. ugh!! I now can finally be almost rude to them, I don't like being rude to anybody, but they get the hint right away (most of the time) and leave me alone! :D

    Answer by AudraMorgan at 11:45 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • I would just confront him yourself when you bump into him again.. .. tell him his actions are bordering on stalking and your next step will be to get a restraining order.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:46 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • If it bothers you that much, I would say something. Or, like you said, have your DH do it. He is being completely disrespectful to you and especially to your husband. Reguardless of if he's attractive, or nasty. Theres boundries he needs to quit crossing.

    Answer by mlmkjw at 11:46 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • i always plan on saying something to him to make him know I am not interested...but I am very shya nd backwards and so when I do run into him I get flustered and end up tonguetied ( like i do with most people) and cant get anything out...

    it also makes me worried because i am afriad other people will think i have had some sort of affair with him or something... 9 not my husband, because he actualy thinks its funny... but still, I dont want other people to think it either)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • This is absurd. You are married. There is something wrong with him. If he makes one single gesture your way tell him you are married and plan to stay with your husband who you love. People are freaks...!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:56 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Yeah..and to top it off, he had to make things up to make it seem like he had a life. He didn't.

    Answer by .MhacFoirfe. at 11:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2011

  • Too Funny!


    Answer by Sarah961 at 12:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Yes I have this issue and just tell him up front, easiest way to solve it, be blunt if he still doesn't get the hint.

    Answer by AF4life at 1:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I had this same problem with a "challenged" boy that worked where I worked. He cleaned up, took out the trash, ect. I always made sure he was being treated nicely by the other employees, since they made fun of him every chance they got. I knew he had a "crush" on me for about a year, but didn't say anything. I didn't want to hurt his feeling, since he was poorly treated and very sensitive. I met my husband and got married the following year, and he got more aggressive, following me home and making up reasons to engage me in conversation for a long time. I tried to talk to him, but was forced to complain to the manager. It happened to be the third complaint against him for stalking so he was fired. I felt bad, but at least he wasn't following me home anymore. I hope he learned something from it, since the manager had a long talk with him while she was firing him. Maybe try to talk to him with your husband there for protection?

    Answer by alphamom26 at 11:49 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Was in a similar situation years ago and I say DO NOT play along. If he's this old and can't get it in his head that you're NOT available, playing along will only set him off when you refuse any advance attempts.

    I'd ask the aunt for his mom's phone number and call her and tell her directly that you're married, have children and you're very uncomfortable with the situation and ask they politely respect your wishes to stop now.

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:09 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

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