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Relationship questions

i have known my guy for a few years but only really started talking just over a year ago. i found out after we got together that he was really interested in this other girl, and it seemed that i was second best. like he accepted my date request only because she told him no, repeatedly. he realized i couldnt stand her and he booted her out of his life. we now have a baby and we were talking about marriage, and here she pops back up again...he hides her number and her texts, and im fairly certain they have been spnding time together again. everyone swears that this guyh will never cheat on me, but it is beginning to make me wonder. he refuses to talk about it and gets an attitude when i bring it up. tonight, he left me home with the kids to go party with the guys and he came home and went straight into the shower. didnt even say hi on his way past. i texted his friend, apprently guys night was actually a family and friends get together for the holiday and yes she was there....thats all he would say. i dont wanna jump the gun and accuse him and i want to be fair about everything, but all 4 of my kids call him daddy though only 1 is his. i cant get hurt again and i wont out my kids through another dramatic episode

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hnaused2010

Asked by hnaused2010 at 2:59 AM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (211 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Dear, that is so shady. Something is up.
    HollyBoBolly

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 3:05 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • hugs

    camiam81

    Answer by camiam81 at 3:07 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I I would sure keep tabs on him til i was sure, doesn't sound to healthy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Oh! That's a tough one sweetie! The only advice I have for you is something I read in an article a while back. If you really want to know if he is lying, you have to pretend like nothing is wrong, but in the meantime be a detective and look for evidence. If you find something that is consider proof and not just an assumption, then is the time to take action. If he knows you suspect, he will take more precautions to cover up evidence, but most likely continue on with his actions. From another view, if he is really being a good hubby then you do not want to risk your relationship with constantly behaving jealous or accusatory. I usually would be more upfront, but this approach is unanimous amongst the articles I have read. I suspected a man once of cheating, but it turned out he wasn't. I ruined that relationship with my jealousy :(
    Gingerwheel

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 3:10 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • i have been cheated on and hurt so many times and i wont go through it again. he knows better and that is one of the reasons i chose him in first place. he swears he would never cheat on me and that he would never hurt me, yet his actions say something is going on. even if he physically hasnt acted on it, if he still loves her and he still wants her than he should be with her. not wasting my time and hurting my kids.
    hnaused2010

    Comment by hnaused2010 (original poster) at 3:17 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Time to confront him. Or maybe confront her.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:32 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • He lies about where he is going. You know he is being secretive.A cheater isn't going to present himself to you as unworthy though he is exactly that unworthy of your love. You're posting this you know that gut feeling is right. If this guy can't be straight and monogomous then you deserve better. Seriously, don't chase him down it won't make you happy. Best wishes.
    chgomom

    Answer by chgomom at 7:13 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Confront him, not just to accuse, but to share his feelings with you and you with him. It might be good to separate for a while so you can think with a clear head. Prepare yourself for a future without him for your kids' sakes by setting up your own bank/checking account, etc. without involving him. In other words, make a plan. Let him come to you if he so chooses. As mothers, a females, we only have the responsibility to be the nurturers and care-takers. I'm not saying this is how it should be, but it's just how society is. Don't be blind-sided. I was after 25+ yrs. of marriage. Everyone said the same thing, "he'd never cheat on you." Well, after all those yrs. and 4 children together, he did. I chose to forgive him, but not without conditions. I see a psychologist regularly. This year we'll be married 32 yrs. It hasn't been easy; you never really forget. Take steps now before it gets out of hand.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:42 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • something is up. if i were you i would tell him he needs to choose who he wants, and if its her your leaving!!
    Mrs.Ro

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 9:31 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I've learned to trust my gut...been through it enough times to know.
    mommydinasaur

    Answer by mommydinasaur at 9:42 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

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