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So what exactly does this mean

I have read in different answers people say, "You have to choose your battles". What exactly does this mean? Does it mean let your kids get away with the small things so they know you're serious about the big things? Just a bit confused as to how using such a thing would actually work....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Dec. 16, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • my 2 year old won't nap in his bed but will lay quietly on the couch - I don't fight that one, I just let him be.

    my 2 year old refuses to go to bed at night - I make him.

    kind of like that. figure out what you are willing to live with and what you won't accept
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • It means to decide on what you want to allow your child to do, stick to the rules and be consistant and make sure the child is always following these rules. You can't discipline him for something one day and let him get away with it the next. Discipline is so important from the moment they are aware of their actions. You have to always stay on them. This is what is happening right now in our society. Too many lazy parents that don't care of don't want to take responsibility. They let the children turn into little wild animals and no one likes this type of child. When their children are then treated differently they get mad and blame others, when in fact it is their own fault. Do it now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • It means you choose what you are willing to put up with and what you arent. Everyone is different. If its not something that you mind but it would stress you out to try and stop it why bother trying to stop it? Like say your child picking their nose... Of course its something most people would try to deter a child from doing.. but if you dont mind then who cares. Your battles are yours and not everyone elses. etc.
    Crystal42683

    Answer by Crystal42683 at 1:46 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • It just means if you're child is doing something you don't particularly like, but isn't harming himself or anyone else i.e. wanting to wear a Spiderman costume to the grocery store...let it go. But if he avoids bath time or tries to get out of sleeping then it's time to tell him there isn't a choice.
    micrespo

    Answer by micrespo at 1:47 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • It means some things are just not worth fighting over...you give in to the little things that dont matter as much (like which shirt to wear or which chair to sit it) and save the "battle' for the big stuff (bedtime is at 8 & we need to wear shoes in the store). You have a more cooperative child if they get to make some of their own choices (and you save that for the little stuff like I mentioned..then you have more control of the big stuff that matters more)
    lisa89j

    Answer by lisa89j at 2:00 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • For example: your child is wanting to wear a mismatched outfit to school or church. Do you engage in a battle of wills? Sure, your bigger and could win. But at what cost? So some moms decide it is not worth it. Not worth damaging the self-esteem, not worth the tantrum or tears, and not worth the headache. So some moms save the battle for things that matter the most to them. However, to some moms it does matter what their child wears so they choose to have this an issue of contention. We always pick and choose our battles every day. Some parents just choose to fight every single one that comes along.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:36 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

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