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Should I keep trying or let it go and hope she doesn't get hurt?

My SO's aunt is our neighbor and I love her dearly, even though she can be a bit of an airhead. She is 53, lives alone, and takes some meds for things like depression, chronic pain and such. This is such a crazy scenario i'm about to tell you and I would think it's fake if I didn't have first hand knowledge of it. Her youngest son is in jail at the moment for some outstanding warrant that he turned himself in to do his time. She writes to him occasionally, but also writes to this other guy, whose name is supposedly "Johnny". The things this man writes to her are unbelievably suspicious. He definitely has a way with words. He says he loves her, promises her things like money. He just sounds way too good to be true. First red flag, he's in JAIL. I believe it has something to do with stealing (second red flag). He says he has no family in the area but has a house in North Carolina. He says when he gets out (January I think) he wants her to take a ride with him down to NC to pick up his things and she's agreed to let him stay at her house. I've told her time and time again that's she's out her mind if she thinks any of this is a good idea! Somehow, this man, this creep, (who by the way sent a sketched self portrait of himself that eerily resembles a popular portrayal of Jesus), somehow he's taken a hold of this desperate, lonely woman and has succeeded in using his words to lure her in. I am so scared for her if she continues to talk to this man. I told her I can't make decisions for her, but I think she's taking a huge risk in putting herself into a dangerous situation. I've also made it clear that if she does let this man stay in her home, that we will not be visiting anymore and she will not visit us, nor do we want to be introduced to him. I don't want him to know who we are, where we live, what he have, etc. I have a family to protect and although I would like to protect her too, but she's a grown woman and I feel like my words just keep falling on deaf ears. Do you think it's wise for me to give up and hope she comes to her senses or should I just keep trying to drill into her head that could potentially end in disaster???

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Asked by DJsMommy610 at 11:17 AM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Considering you really care about her, keep talking!!! I'm sure it's hard to sit by and watch but at least you will be able to say you tried!


    Answer by anichols1 at 11:26 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Keep trying! See if u can get this guys real name and do a background check. Have your SO talk to her too.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:36 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • keep talking to her and showing her wholes in his if he has a house why does he need to live with her?...and other false truths

    Answer by cara124 at 11:38 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • You have said it all. What is the point she thinks he is mister wonderful. Protect your family and let her live her life. When all is said and done and she sees him for who he is, then be there for her.

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 11:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I've sat down and read through some of his letters and analyzed everything I could. I didn't even think of a backround check. How do I do that?

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 11:41 AM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • good luck i had a friend who did this visted the guy in jail untill he came out an he moved in a beat the crap out of her. an guess what shes with another one she doesnt learn hope your aunt does good luck when he gets out i would want to meet him in a public place an would make sure if she goes with him down their that u now where an the times cuz he might hurt her or something im very over pretective an think the worst.

    Answer by BOOKER123ABC at 12:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • How did she meet this person? Sounds like if she met him while he was in jail, maybe you should contact the warden and let him know the inmate is playing with a woman who is severely depressed and on medication and is vulnerable. There are inmates who prey on women like that so that they send money for their commissary fees and so that they have someone to connect with while they are locked up. She needs to realize she is being played. A sketch of what he looked like? Did she send a pic of herself to him? Wonder what he would say if he actually saw her. Probably some line to string her along until he can get out and drain her bank account dry then ditch her for some bimbo he will meet in a bar. She needs to get real and look at it as it really is. He is lonely, she is lonely and she is MRs. Right. She is Mrs. Right Now. don't send any money and see how long her contacts her. See if she is sending money to his acct.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 2:51 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Brenda, she hasn't even met this guy in person! It was basically he met her son in jail, son talked about mom and suddenly this guy is writing letters to her. She really doesn't have much that he could take from her, but i'm more worried for her life than anything. I can sometimes think the worst and this guy just sounds like something out of fantasy love story book. If he's really so perfect then why is he in jail and telling a woman he's never met how much he loves her. She recently told me he got money wired to her but it never came because someone stole it out of the mail. REALLY??!!! I wish she wasn't so gullible but she is and needs to be watched like a child or she makes horrible decisions. It's exhausting but SO doesn't have sympathy like I do.

    Comment by DJsMommy610 (original poster) at 4:19 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Keep talking to her but at the same time pray for her...

    Answer by smiley745 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

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