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Future Goals

my kids are ages 11,12 and 17. Is it bad that I have a count down until they turn 18.
I got pregnant at age 18, had my dd when I was 19. I was a single mom for 5 yrs, when I got married at age 24, we had two children. Divorced when I was 29. I'm now 36.
I've moved back to my hometown and I hate it here. I hate that everyone knows everyone, that everyone knows where I belong, who my family is, who's business is everyone business.
Is it wrong to have goals of seeing my kids grown and wanting to live my own life once they're out of high school? Hopefully, in college. My olderst will graduate next May and wants to go to college five hours away. Which is great.
I do feel bad at time for wanting them to be grown and wanting my own life afterwards.
My baby starts football this fall, I can't wait - him being my only boy. I'm looking forward to the next few years, but still dream of a sort of free life. I know, the kids are never really gone. And I wouldn't want them to be.
just torn, I guess.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like you have some healthy goals, but have set them aside while you're raising your kids...that's not selfish at all! Is there any way you could maybe take some weekend classes or do some things just for yourself while they older ones keep an eye on the younger ones? I think they would understand and what a role model you would be for pursuing your dreams too! Good luck!

    Answer by terirose22 at 4:31 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • No, it is not wrong at all! You are not wishing your children away forever, you are just feeling a little burnt, and we all do at times. You were very young with your first and didn't really have that chance to live your life for just you, and now you see the opportunity to do so on the horizon, so yeah, you want it & you want it bad. No guilt there. You are raising your children to be responsible & independent adults, not abandoning them to the world. Why shouldn't you want the same opportunity for yourself when it presents itself?

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 3:00 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • You are wishing that your children do as they are supposed to, become reliable contributing adults. Nothing wrong with that at all.
    I've been a mother for a long time and am looking forward to time alone with my husband and time with grandchildren. Time to travel where I want with hubby, and time to visit the children where they live.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 4:06 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I never said I wanted to live through my children, i"m looking forward to living my life after my children are grown.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • How did my going to school get put into this? My oldest will be going to college next year. Yippie! One out of the nest. One on her own and two to go. Never nothing about me going back to school or living my life through them. I'm looking forward to me time, time to live my life and time to discover who I am, besides being mom.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:13 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Well it seems like you only have seven more years to go before the youngest is 18 and then you can begin living your life...Its nothing wrong in wanting your children to hurry up and turn 18 so you can live your life and its certainly nothing wrong with you living your life while they are growing up....but good luck to you when it does happen. Enjoy yourself...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • We don't get to live the lives we missed through our children.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2011