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For moms with kids that have delays. How do you want people to talk to or approach you in a public setting?

I think most of the time people that have normal children don't understand anything about kids with delays, so they don't know how to approach someone or act around them. Please give us some pointers.
I have been around lots of people with delays, but others haven't and need some help.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Big issue---don't stare!
    If you don't understand why our children act differently,ask us,or pretend like you don't see or hear them. Don't stare or make rude comments.
    one incident that broke my heart was in Goodwill. There's this 15 or 16 year old young man with Downs that works there. He was in line buying a sweatshirt after his shift and he noticed that I was wearing a Bears sweatshirt and he struck up a conversation with me. from directly behind me--in full audible range of this young man and his mom---I hear,"I don't know why she's bothering to talk to him(me),he can't even understand her anyway!" His face fell in an instant.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Just like you would anyone else. 'Hey how are you' 'Oh I see our kids are getting along well' 'Wow it sure is hot out here today' There is nothing special to know.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:48 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I have a son that is almost 10 & is non-verbal & still in diapers. When he acts up in public I have alot of people stare at me like I don't know how to control my child. I always tell them "I am sorry, my son has autism and doesn't understand"; once I say this.......they ALWAYS have an understanding attitude. I have NEVER had anyone say anything to me. Honestly....I try to put his disability out front from the get go so there are no misunderstandings as to why he may do what he does. That seems to make life alot better.

    Answer by wwinnie200 at 2:56 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • like they are anybody else!

    Answer by angelrach86 at 2:49 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • i love this question OP. i have 2 kids with autism, and it is very hard to be in public sometimes. it really makes me at ease when people stop us and say hi and ask us how we are doing. if one of them is having a melt down or something it's nice if someone is sympathetic like, "it will get easier" or "what a cute little guy".

    Answer by ajs16919 at 4:11 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Just like anyone else. i always tell my daughter disabled doesnt mean unabled. So we have raised her like any other child

    Answer by Mzwest83 at 6:08 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • DD has a social anxiety disorder. Its called Selective Mutism and basically she was very afraid to speak to strangers. She would talk with family but if someone came up to us she froze up. When we went out to eat or saw someone in the store we knew but she didn't know she'd hide behind one of us and refuse to talk. In school she had to do 3 yrs of pre-school to work on her speech.

    Lots of people would try to force her to talk or think she was rude because she refused to answer them. I had to explain every time that she wasn't simply "shy". That she was terrified of strangers and always had this reaction. Trying to force her to talk makes it worse.
    A place we often went out to eat had a waiter that constantly would not listen to me. He'd try to get her to talk every time we went there and invaded her space often which just pushed her into silence even more. Some people just don't get it.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 2:57 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Btw, it took many years but we finally worked through it so now she'll talk to most people. But she's still reserved and probably will always remain so.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 2:58 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • butterflyblue19: How sad for that poor boy. Some people are just so ignorant. I have a son w/ developmental & lang. delays. I would like for him to be treated like anyone else. If you have a hard time understanding him, say so, dont ignore him. He'll either repeat himself more slowly & clearly or I can interpret if necessary. The parents will let you know if you are asking too much of them. Honestly, EVERYONE needs a safe & loving world in which to live.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:57 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I have a special needs son,ask questions,dont stare. My son survived multiple strokes when he was 6 weeks old,he has been treated like he has the plague and will pass it on. let your children know that not all children are like them.our children want to play and interact just like yours do,teach your kids it is OK to talk/play with our kids. for me I appreciate especially if I am alone with my son and he is melting down,what can I do to help?

    Answer by RobinChristine at 12:39 AM on Jul. 5, 2011