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7 Bumps

I must get this out somewhere. adult content

I'm married to a great man. He's away working a lot but it has never been an issue until now. I'm missing him like crazy. I want him home NOW. Obviously that isn't possible and I won't seen him for another three months. I'm craving affection. I want to be wrapped up tight in his arms. I tried talking to him about some of this yesterday but he had other things he wanted to talk about so my feelings got pushed aside. Today we argued a little and he asked me what was going on and I told him if it wasn't important yesterday it's not important today. I shouldn't have said that. I should have told him so he can help me. Before this gets worse. Because it will because I don't know how to stop it.

I met a man who frequents my place of employment. He's a great man too. We've become good friends. He's told me he wished I wasn't married but other than that he has been very respectable towards me. He told me he would not be the man who breaks up a marriage and destroys a family. We've talked a little about our "relationship" although we don't call it that. I'm quite sure this is what one would call an emotional affair. He said he's not sure if I like him or just the idea of him. We've never been alone together. I can see him being a great husband. He's so kind and polite. Loving. I've had people question me about him and I. It worries me that complete strangers will ask me if he's my husband. I told him once that another person asked if he was my husband and he responded with "I can't help the way you look at me and everyone knows it but you." I'm not sure if it's really him that I want or if I'm just projecting my feelings onto him because I'm lonely. If my husband was here, this wouldn't be an issue. I would have never gave him a second thought.

He told me if it was too difficult for me, he would stop coming in. I told him that wasn't necessary. This is my problem not his. So what do I do? Do I quit my job? There is no way I could avoid him at work. Talking to my husband is a possiblilty but there is no way in hell I will tell him about the other 'possible' man. Other than ignoring my feelings ocassionally my husband is a good, loving husband to me.

This has been eating me up for the last few days.
If you feel the need to bash, this is an advance FUCK OFF. :) Have a great day.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Quit your job and never speak to this man again unless you really want to lose your marriage. Things have already gone too far here, it's time for a radical course of action.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 8:42 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • you need to stop contact with this man if you don't want to risk messing up your marriage. I know that you don't want to inconvienence him but could you have someone else handle him or limit your interaction to strictly work and nothing more. You are walking on a ledge right now and it would be a shame for you to fall over and ruin your marriage over something like this.

    You need to fill you down time and maybe find some more female friends that you can vent to the less downtime you have the less you will think about needed attention...pick up a hobby that you've always wanted to do.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 4:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • You need to avoid seeing him, whatever it takes. And you need to stop thinking about him--ever. When a thought of him pops into your mind, you replace it with one of your husband. You spend your time thinking about ways to make his homecoming more special than it's ever been before. You write him long letters, telling him how much you miss him and how you can't wait for him to be home again. Yes, I did say, Write letters. That's how my husband and I stayed close when we had to be separated. There is never room for another man in a married woman's life, no matter how lonely she becomes. Her heart should pine for only her husband.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:18 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Oh hun, I dont even know how to respond..I'll give you a bump though!

    Answer by oregonduck at 4:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I come from a military family. My dad being overseas really took a huuge toll on their marrige. They even got seperated and then diorced but remarried 13 days later. Anyway, thats not my point, Im not bashing I promise. I jst think that he is trying to place a wall between you guys because he misses you soo much. I know tis hard to understand, but my dad did the same thing. He will realise what he is doing, and he will be okay, he just realy needs you more than ever. He needs to know him home life is okay, that everything is fine, he will come around, and worse coem to worse, be prepared for PTSD. Thats what got my parents in their marriage. He may have seen something and doesnt want to tell you about it or anything. He is doing what he feels is right, even if you dont think it is, just try and be there fohim, put everything else on hold and focus on supporting him. I saw videos my dad had, I understand why they block ppl out.

    Answer by kgrine at 9:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Its Normal to feel Lonely in your situation & i think maybe because this man is showing you some interest you just feel wanted i mean i dont see any wrong being done here as your not sexually involved or anything like that... just sound like a bit of harmless flirting.. I think you need to def try & get your feelings across to your husband....GL :)

    Answer by Nicole_Anne at 4:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • It sounds like you are lonely and you like the idea of having a man around. You could avoid him, but then another man may make you feel the same feelings also since it is the idea of having a man around that you crave.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Im just curious, is your DH in the military? Before I go into a loong awnser, I was just curious.

    Answer by kgrine at 5:44 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Wow! I think you should stay focus on your husband that other guy aint worth the tea in got a good husband why ruin what you have.being lonely is normal I would find some things you enjoy and stay focus on being to your husband about how much you miss him,time away makes the heart grow founder.dont cheat.

    Answer by MizzMejia at 6:50 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • You are interested because you are lonely just as you said. I know its not possible to just lock yourself in the house till your husband comes home but it would be wise to fine a way to limit being able to have regular contact with any attractive nice man who could show an interest. If your job isn't necessary to the family you could quit if you ultimately feel that will be best and in the mean time perhaps taking up a hobby where you would be around other women would be good. I missed not having a best friend anymore and I took up jewelry making and go to a bead store every friday and work on things with the women there who taught me how to do everything I know and its a nice time out and it fills a void and makes me feel good. Best of luck to you with this difficult situation *hugs*

    Answer by DianeMary at 4:28 AM on Jul. 5, 2011