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3 Bumps

Baby spending the night at grandparents?

My boyfriend wants to take our baby over to his Mom's house to spend the night. She is only 4 weeks old, but he says it's okay because he will be there spending the night with her. My main concerns are that:

-I am breastfeeding.
-I am worried about germs.
-I don't like people getting too touchy or too holdy with her. I don't like people passing her around from family member to family member a lot, either.
-I'm not ready to be without her for a night.

My boyfriend has said that he thinks she will be fine without me for the few nights that they stay, and that he will feed her formula. I really, really, really don't want her to have formula and I have discussed this with him, but she says he will be fine. I'm not ready to let her go spend the night anywhere else yet. I also know his family are those types of people that likes to get up in babies faces and kiss them and pass them around. It bugs me that he won't listen to me and I feel like the bad guy for saying no, because I know his family is mad at me.

Should I let him take her to spend the night? How old were you when you let your child spend the night for the first time at their grandparents house?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (14)
  • I don't understand WHY you need to let her spend the night anywhere...obviously if he is going to be with the baby it's not for a weekend getaway. I'm only a SM but if I had a baby of my own I'm sure I wouldn't feel comfortable letting her go off to grandma's after only 4 weeks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • If you are breastfeeding. You should not do it.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:19 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • 4 weeks it way too early for me, my daughter didnt stay out of the house until she was about 18 mths and I was beside myself then and crying on the way home lol

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:21 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Concern's 1 and 4 are the most valid *to me*. If you are breastfeeding 4 weeks is a little early to be introducing the bottle as breast feeding techniques and your supply are still being established. And it you are not ready to let her go yet then there is NOTHING wrong with that! That sounds pretty normal even! My DS was close to 10 months before he did and I was a wreck about it! DD was almost a year. I have friends who's kids didn't stay way from home until close to 3!

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • You aren't comfortable, so don't do it. Also since you're breastfeeding and want to keep up that routine it's not a great idea to introduce formula all of a sudden. In my opinion four weeks is way too early to be anywhere except with you, unless it's absolutely necessary.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Oh and to answer your other question my daughter was one and a half the first time she stayed with grandparents, and it was because I was in the hospital giving birth to my second.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I think you have some good points, and if it were me I would say "NO" as well. #1- the baby is breastfeeding- and it would NOT be a good idea for him to disregard that and ff baby. (she may not tollerate the type of formula he would pick, and it would certainly disrupt your bf schedule and possibly your milk supply as well). #2- baby is still very young, too young to be away from you for that long. #3- germs and unknown people touching baby- baby could catch something and might not like so many strangers holding her.
    Why can't he have all 3 of you go and visit his family for a day/overnight-- that way you are with baby and can bf and keep an eye on who is touching baby. Or why can't he ask family members go to visit you for a day or an overnight? That way they can see baby, but will still be able to bf and baby would be at home in familiar surroundings and you can keep her on schedule (if she has one)

    Answer by MizLee at 7:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • My kids were a few months old before they spent the night at my mom's house. And they were many years old before I allowed them to spend the night at my mil's house!

    Answer by MizLee at 7:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • At 4 weeks, no way would I have been ready for a night away! It's way too early, especially since you're breastfeeding!! I totally agree with you. Men don't understand how we women feel, we have instincts that men don't have. My son didn't stay with my in-laws overnight until he was 16 months old and DH took me away for a night. We called him in the morning, and I just cried the whole phone call! I'd say to stand your ground on this one. 4 weeks old is WAAAAAY too young!! Also, shocking her system with formula would be awful for her intestinal tract, and likely give her diarrhea or constipation, and would make her feel horrible. It can also interfere with the breastfeeding when you get her back. Be the bad guy if that's what it takes, but if you're not ready, don't let her go.

    Answer by musicpisces at 8:03 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • She is too young and your breastfeeding she NEEDS you!! Giving her formula would upset her tummy :(

    Answer by lil_momma_vdv at 8:38 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

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