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How to deal when a family member constantly compares your child to another "perfect child"??

My oldest is the second grand baby. The first is a few years older, and apparently was a perfect baby and toddler and my child is a terror. We're doing it all wrong and the perfect child's mother has it all down.

Ugh. How to deal with these comments???????


Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Next time I would just put her in her place and explain that your child is not ( ______ ) insert other childs name and that every child is different and we do things the way we do nt the way anyone else does, and that you would appreciate if she would stop comparing two totally different children and accept them both the way they are.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 7:29 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • That "perfect" child will probably be a horrible teenager! More horrible than the usual I bet.

    Answer by Iluvautumn at 7:29 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I would ignore the person if my child is really small and can't understand. If they can understand then I would probably take that person aside and ask them not to be so comparative about my kid because it is not healthy for either child.

    Answer by ChicaThis at 7:30 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • you just nod and just smile and say you really can't compare children. but basically you really can't change people's mind. my mother and father are always commenting about my daughter but i just say yes yes. and i roll my eyes. she is the 3rd grandbaby. its funny the first who is my nephew is so beautiful in their eyes and my dd is the first girl and so the 2nd boy is not really aawed over so i understand wht you are coming from. your child is special because he is yours. all children are great. i never try to compare. good luck. hang in there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I get that to with my daughter. Her cousin is the same age as my daughter (3 years old) and my grandmother always compare her cousin to my daughter saying my her cousin can talk better and is more potty trained and accuses me of being lazy that my child mumbles words and isn't 100% potty trained yet. My child's doctor said it's normal for kids her age to act like that, but if she gets older and still acts like that, I should be concerned. I read to my child and spend more time with her than the cousin's parents, but my child is talking little more better everyday as she learns.

    Answer by TashaStar81 at 7:32 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • i would sarcastically say "wow, you guys are perfect parents with perfect kids & a perfect life...good for you"

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:33 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I would just say something like "oh yes, he's so perfect it's downright creepy!" :P

    No, seriously, I actually wouldn't say anything. How sad that they can't see perfection doesn't exist and that child apparently has big expectations to fulfill and I wouldn't want to be in his place when he screws up- and he WILL screw up because no one is perfect. Your child, on the other hand, knows that you love him- flaws and all. You're the one on the right track here, they're not. And it's gonna be affecting that child so much to be the perfect little boy.


    Answer by momto2boys973 at 7:39 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Oh honey, I feel your pain. I finally had enough of my MIL comparing the oh so perfect grandson with my daughter. I finally had a moment alone with MIL while DD played out side with dad. I told her if she couldn't stop comparing them, DD would not come back over, ever. She stopped.

    Answer by cueballsmom at 7:47 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I agree with cueballsmom.... talk to her, and if she still persists, cut her off.... GL!

    Answer by momof2redhedz at 7:54 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I'm going to come from another angle. I have two nephews that are absolute terrors and it has not improved with age. My SIL knows that they are being compared to my three (who are well-behaved) and my niece who also is very well behaved. Note I didn't say anyone is perfect. She even has said she KNOWS hers look bad. You may need to take a
    step back and evaluate whether there is a reason your child is being compared to other kids. Now it may be that the people saying things are clueless about age appropriate behavior and if that's the case just ignore them.

    Answer by mjande4 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 4, 2011