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I think my bf might be cheating on me but Im not sure. Things have nt been the same between us since we had our son 19 months ago. We have never gotten along the same since. We now also have a 4 month old. We havent had sex in months we hardly ever talk to each and we never do anything together anymore like watch a movie together or even go to the grocery store. He has been working alot of overtime at his job and thatys where things get fishy. He said he wasnt going to work lastnight but decided to go in but the hours were not the same as what hes been telling me. He didnt take his lunchbox or any drinks. I was a little suspicious so I looked at the messages on his facebook page which I know was wrong but he is talking to a girl on there and he told her they should get together sometime and do something and she said she would love to and gave him her number. She lives just minutes away from his work. I looked at his phone and her number is one there but instead of putting her name he just put initials. Im just seeing more and more things that really make it sound like hes cheating and I dont know what to do. How do I bring it up? Should I wait and see how he acts for awhile or just say something now? He left our 4th of July cookout early yesterday and came home and got on the computer. He never spaends his time with me or the kids but it seems like he can make time to be with someone else. Im so hurt and confused, please help. Even if its just someone to talk to.

Answer Question

Asked by price85 at 8:00 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (696 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think you need to communicate with him, let him know your concerns. I definitely would not hold these feelings you have in because they will eat you alive and you need to have trust in order to have a good relationship. Good luck to you, I hope it gets better.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 8:05 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Even if he isn't cheating his actions are inappropriate. He has two small children at home, he shouldn't be meeting with other women. Yes I'd bring it up to him, if it's happening than you can't change it, so deal with it head on and let the chips fal where they mayl, hopefully he decides to take care of his family.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:09 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • sounds like you know the he cheating
    your head knows, just need time for your head to tell your heart
    every sign you mention=cheating, you even know with who

    if a best girlfriend told you this story you told us, what would you advise for her to do ?= this is what you should do

    been there=it sucks big time

    if still love him, tell me!
    let him know that you want to make it work,but you can not play 2nd fiddle to another woman
    i hope he chooses to make it work with you and your kids

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:13 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • My Daughters not little anymore but I went thru sht w my Husband 5 years ago when he was going thru his mid-life crisis.All the same scenario.

    Answer by chicagochrissy at 8:17 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Let him go. he made a decision to be with someone else, who knows, if you dont decide to take him back after kicking him to the curb, his mistake for cheating on you in the first place, i bet he is in la la land and thinks he can have a better relationship with this other girl. It'll be too bad if you dont take him back, i bet he would regret that one in the future.

    Answer by americansugar80 at 8:23 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Im really scared about the custody situation. Im only getting unemployment right now so there is no way I can afford a place on my own. I cant live without my kids and if he decided to spend time with someone else rather than his kids why should he get to see them anyway? If we went to court would they be taken from me because I dont have a job right now?

    Comment by price85 (original poster) at 8:26 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • No, they will not take your kids away for not having a job. He would have to prove you to be an unfit mother. My husband cheated on me, and before we decided whether or not we were going to work it out, we decided that the best place for the kids was with me. He even went as far as to decide that he would sign over full custody of the kids to me. Of course, I would have let him see the kids any time he wanted, but when deciding custody, the children's best interest should be the only concern on both parent's minds. Good luck to you and your family. We have decided to work things through and everything is getting better each day.

    Answer by Kword at 9:27 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • It sound like he is cheating...and I think you know that. You know you bf. Is he the type you can talk to about your concerns? If not, get proof first, then confront him. If you dont have proof before you accuse him, he'll just deny it, and hide it better. If you leave, you will get child support, but that takes time. You need to start making a plan to figure a way out. Maybe family or friend can help til you get on your feet??

    Answer by mlmkjw at 9:58 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • If you have two kids with this guy , why hasn't he wanted to get married? I think you need to make hm talk and admit to what he is doing and I wouldn't stay with him unless he wanted to make a commitment. The way it is now, he has complete control---he can do what ever he wants because there is no marriage...he is immature and spoiled. Tell him to either grow up or get out and see what happens. I would NEVER have kids unless I was married. THIS is why---this guy is using you and your kids will suffer!

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:23 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Hey, I am really sorry you're dealing with this. The first thing you need to remember is don't ever assume. Just because something looks or seems one way, doesn't mean it is. From what you're describing, it sure sounds like he either already is seeing someone on the side, or he wants to...and neither is a good thing!
    I remember one time with my ex bf (not my kids dad) we were planning to go out one night to a club, and he couldn't find his id. I asked him if he checked his wallet he said yes, I asked could I check again. He said sure, it's in the closet, well when I went and got it, I found a condom in there...just one...but we never used condoms and so I called him in (his friend was there and I didn't wanna ask him about it in front of his friend) and he got this really scared oh shit look on his face he gave me all these excuses said he was keeping it for one of his friends,

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 3:53 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

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