Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I cant lose my kids.......

I think my bf is cheating on me and if he is Im done. We have been together for 6 yrs but Im not going to put up with that. We have 2 kids, 19 months and 4 months. I dont have a job right now I only get unemployment. So if we break up and go to court for custody will the kids be taken from me because I dont have a job? I cant live without my kids and if hes cheating I dont think he should get to be with them anyway. My kids mean everything to me I hope things would go in my favor.

Answer Question

Asked by price85 at 8:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (696 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • They would have to prove that you are an unfit mother. There are many programs out there that can help you.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:44 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • No they can't take kids from you for being poor! Think about all the battered women who leave with nothing, even if they can't get to a shelter. They prefer to keep kids with mom. You can get on assistance while you get on your feet. They'll nail him for child support as well.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:45 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Just because you don't have a job they can't take away your kids. If he is cheating I'm very sorry for what you and your kids are about to go through. I hope you have a lot of family and friend support to help you get on your feet!! GL

    Answer by aheuszel at 8:47 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Agreed. He has to prove you unfit or they wont take your children from you. Now, you do have to provide them with their own room and a dresser for each child. And once they get older, if they arent the same sex, they can't share a room. But as long as they have their own space, and are fed and healthy, he cant do anything. However, you said you dont want him to be with them because he cheated. I understand that and completely sympathize, but a judge wont. He cheated on you and hurt YOU, not the children. A judge wont see that as a reason to keep him from your children. And, if you try to bring it up in court, the judge will see you as being spiteful...not thinking about whats best for the children. So, try to stay away from that, and just focas on what you offer to the children, and you'll be fine. And, yes, there are places that will help til you can get better on your feet. Good luck!!

    Answer by mlmkjw at 8:59 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I am a stay at home mom and have been for the last 10years. Husband is sueing me for full custody and I worry he will get them. But several people on here says he will have to prove I am unfit to gain full custody. So you might not get full custody but shared custody. I agree with someof mimkjw answers about bringing it all up in court. I know it hurts. We are getting a divorce just cause grew apart and was hurt since had to get in the mail he wants full custody. Write anytime you need a friend and maybe we can help each other out. Hang in there and keep your head up.

    Answer by momindiana at 9:05 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Mlmkjw, all she has to provide is a bed and a roof over their heads. They don't have to have dressers. And many single moms have put kids in the same room together if that's all they had. She never said she was keeping the kids from him either....

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:09 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Im not being spiteful though. He has never changed their diapers doesnt go to doc appts doesnt know what they eat what they where their sizes what they weigh what the things my son says mean never holds our daughter. He is just never there. I wont be able to take it if he gets to take them for a little while. I have never been away from them I am a stay at home mom so Im always with them.

    Comment by price85 (original poster) at 9:10 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • Its fine that he sees them just dont want him to take them overnight. At least not yet. He has never taken care of them so Im afraid he cant and I want them to be ok. It would be fine to meet somewhere so he can see them.

    Comment by price85 (original poster) at 9:12 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • the judge wont see it that way. alot of father's don't do those things and they still get visitations. i know one mother that requested no over nights so you might think about that but the judge wont see it that way. do not say anything that remotesly puts you in a bad position. they will think about the children. and what is best for the children and their transition ect. i would just get a lawyer. if the father can provide for them ect he might get visitations. i know how scary it is. i wont let the father of my dd take her over night and she is 2. he is in another state. so just becareful. it might not go in your favor so i just want to prepare you. i never went to court over this so i am just saying what i have read others have told me and what i have read online. good luck and i wish you all the best.

    Answer by lambdarose at 9:28 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • i would focus on tryin to find a job if u think that will keep u from having ur kids. call a legal aid office in ur area and see what they say. do not make the same mistake i did and not have some kinda legal representation...that's one way u will def get screwed. have temp orders put into place that he will hafta pay some kinda childsupport. but if u have to call all the attny's in ur area, do it...get all the legal advice u can get...make sure to document EVERYTHING!!

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 9:55 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.