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3 yrs old and bad temper tantrums?

Has anyone heard of Dr. Cale www.terrificparenting.com? He claims that in 3-7 days he can help with temper tantrums. My son is 3 and the tantrums are getting worse... Over the past 2 months I started full time excellerated college courses and he is now in daycare.  Could this be a reason?  I still have one year left of school.  The behavior of my son is worrying me.  He is a sweet child and from the information I have found online his tantrums are not nearly as bad; however, I am still concerned.  Just wanted to know if anyone has heard of or bought his online book about tantrums.  Thanks!

 
jen2774161

Asked by jen2774161 at 11:06 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 18 (6,003 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • (cont)
    the book Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon, or one of Becky Bailey's books, which also deal with underlying issues for parents to help support our emotional triggers. Or (no book purchase involved) you can learn more about parenting with empathy & validation in the parenting discussions in a CM group like Loving Alternatives to Mainstream Parenting.

    In short, it sounds to me (I read through the tantrum advertisement & the ad for the "whining" book) like this guy is marketing ideas that may be valid, but aren't exclusive. They sound to me like the typical tenets of connection-oriented parenting (which I whole-heartedly support.) That's just a guess based on trying to read between the lines.
    You could check out the (free) parenting articles at Hand-In-Hand for this sort of "parenting through connection" approach.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:39 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Claims like that that sound too good to be true usually are. There is no magic wand when it comes to helping toddlers learn to channel and control their emotions.
    GrammytoTrin

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 11:20 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I haven't heard of him but did use The Happiest Toddler on the Block for my kid and felt like an ass doing it. Basically, tantrums are based out of frustration and they need to use words/be given words to express their feelings so they feel they are being heard and understood. For example: Toddler is screaming over leaving the park. Mom says, "You are MAD. I understand. Jimmy is MAD, MAD, MAD. But today we have to go home."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I haven't bought the book or heard of him before. Nor can I tell from his lengthy "infomercial" approach exactly what he advocates, lol.
    But it sounds like he doesn't use the typical strategies of punishing or ignoring tantrums in order to "extinct" the behavior, and I agree with that. He also talks about "inviting" rather than "running from" tantrums (and that is a concept that I understand & agree with, too.) He talks about a fear-based control approach being a problem, and criticizes "old models of positive reinforcement." All of that is potentially good (in my opinion) & may mean that he has valuable information & perhaps a very effective way of putting it across. I doubt that it is unique or exclusive, though.
    It sounds to me like he advocates validation through reflective listening and you can get that through various less pricey channels (the "fast food rule" from Happiest Toddler is a basic spin on the same thing) like
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:20 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

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