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2 Bumps

How can i get my step kids to start listening to me?

They act like I have no authority and do seem to understand that I'm the adult and that they are kids. Me and my boyfriend always get into Hugh fights and he always takes there side and it seems to me that he don't care about anything that I say.... I need help cuz its been almost two years of constant crap and I'm almost to a breaking point....I love him to death but I can't keep dealing with this all day every day.

 
chelseacelest15

Asked by chelseacelest15 at 11:35 PM on Jul. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (28 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think it is time to talk to the bf, let him know that if he expects you to be 'mom' and babysitter to the kids, then HE needs to lay down the law with the kids and tell them that when he is gone, you are the 'adult in charge' and they need to listen/mind you. HE also needs to back you up and present a 'united front' with you in front of the kids. If he does not agree with something you say, he needs to talk to you in private and not in front of the kids. Ideally the 2 of you should sit down and discuss the whole situation, come up with rules for the house, and then have a family meeting and talk to the kids about this. I don't know if this is an option - try family counseling. They could help all of you deal with this and talk about the issue. If he refuses any of it then I would suggest packing up and leaving, and let him deal with his kids. Good luck, I hope everything works out .
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:29 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • you need to leave..if he dont tell them or enforce it. They will never respect you especally if he is always taking their side. I would talk to him one on one then after you guys come to an agreement have a family meeting. If you two dont see eye to eye its not going to work. They are not going to listen or respect you if he doesnt step up. If he continues to act the way he is acting then I would let it go.
    suzzanna

    Answer by suzzanna at 11:41 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • let it go meaning leave him
    suzzanna

    Answer by suzzanna at 11:42 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I don't think it's fair if you all live together, or he expects you to watch them when he's not around etc... I mean, I don't know the circumstances but if any of the responsibilities are yours, they need to respect and listen to you and that's only going to happen if dad enforces it.

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 11:43 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • he needs to back you up and if he dont your just wasting you time.
    esmith1984

    Answer by esmith1984 at 11:44 PM on Jul. 4, 2011

  • I have them all the time especially during the summer. I love him so much and I can't just get up and walk away... I love the kids two and its just real hard. Their mom never wanted two be around and she up and left him with them all by himself 4 years ago and they are 9 and 11 years old now...it may just be that their not use to it or that's just the way they think I will do. I truly love them and its hard to just walk away.
    chelseacelest15

    Comment by chelseacelest15 (original poster) at 12:23 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • be nice to them & show them you care & only want the best for them
    rosaxmariie

    Answer by rosaxmariie at 1:15 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

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