Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Have you noticed American military personelle get special privileges and rights, even when they don't deserve them?

Don't get me wrong, here. I hate war. All war. But I appreciate the hell that our soldiers go through, and I feel for them.


Recently I've noticed that JUST being in the military grants people special rights with things that are not military related. For example: one of my friends is divorcing her military husband. She's kind of crunchy, a fantastic, concerned, involved mother, and her husband got full custody of their kids until he deployed (and they don't have a date set for his deployment). Then, in the final court hearing, he got full legal custody, and this mama only gets to see her kids 2 weeks every 2 months.

Another example: a question on here had a mom whose military husband confessed to her to shaking their baby years ago. Some women in the thread were telling her to forgive him because he had just come back from deployment and had PTSD. I bet dollars to doughnuts that if it had been HER who shook the baby because of PPD they would be flaming her like no tomorrow, but it's all okay, because the baby doesn't have any adverse effects, and he's military, come on, we have to support him!

I've seen a lot of other examples of military members getting off with a slap on the wrist, or getting more than they really deserve JUST because they are military. It seems that some people wear yellow ribbons on their hearts and will forgive a soldier anything, award them custody they don't deserve, etc etc etc.

It peeves me quite a bit.

Anyone else see this?

Answer Question

Asked by Ati_13 at 2:10 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Politics & Current Events

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • So, you've never been to war have you??

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I know people who flash their military ID to get out of speeding tickets - and have done so multiple times. Why is it okay for servicemen to break the law like that? I don't get it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • My exhusband got away with attempted murder and violence because of the military. Being military however, does not give them full custody of kids. If this guy got custody, he was able to prove he was the better parent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:18 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Okay, I'm not scared to go toe to toe about this and won't post anon. But, are you freaking kidding me?

    I live close to Ft Meade and seen military arrested for PI's, DUI's...ect...
    Speeding tickets - that's nothing. Pretty women get out of them too...apples to oranges to me.

    These people deserve special treatment. Not that it gives them the right to try to kill people and get away with it (as listed above).

    But, the feller (yup, I said feller) got custody because somewhere the mom was proved unfit. Yep, don't care if she's your friend, cousin, sister...doesn't matter. For a court to grant full custody to a father; something is up, especially, if both parents are fighting for full custody. Not because he's military.

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 2:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • My son is Military and not once has he gotten out of a speeding ticket. He had just returned to the states from Iraq, was in uniform and was pulled over for speeding. He recieved a hefty ticket. While home on same leave he and some friends went hiking on the gorge and came back to find a parking ticket on his car that was clearly marked with a base sticker, he didn't get out of that one either. I don't see the same things you're seeing.

    Answer by Kathy675 at 3:13 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I see a little of both sometimes in the matter of an enlisted person getting special treatment to serveral areas good or bad, but I figure what the hell, they may or may not deserve it and its not up to me to say anything. Its the people who are giving them the enlisted a break on whatever it is may be. They have to answer for what they choose to do.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Actually OP, it is very rare for an active duty servicemember to receive full custody because of their deployment schedule. So SHE must have really screwed up. And as far as special treatment, I'm going to tell you what I told somebody a week ago. You will never know that sacrifices my dual-military family has made so you can post stuff like this on Cafemom. I don't see special treatment from the law. I've received three tickets in the last 6 years.

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 5:29 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • So if the husband only got to see the kids every other weekend that would be more fair? I doubt the military had anything to do with the custody. Men usually get screwed when it comes to visitation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • No I haven't. Considering the risks that our soldiers must take, to defend our country, I have no problem with them getting special privileges. Imo, we can never repay them for their sacrifices, sometimes, the ultimate, they don't get to come home alive, ever again...

    As far as your friend and the custody of her children, I'm sorry, that is really crappy but it seems like we might be missing some of the details, as to why the judge ruled that way; could he be a long time family friend? The children must be devastated, they are the real victims in this sad situation...

    Answer by agentwanda at 7:58 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • i'm the op of the "crushed" question. because the incident happened OFF post, the military wasn't involved in his lawful punishment, the PD of the county was. he was not reprimanded in any way, shape or form by the military. the only repercussion he suffered from the military was, because it took a year and a half for the court to come to their decision and his ETS date was in the middle of that, he was not allowed to re-enlist with charges pending. they even gave him a 3 month extension past his ETS date in hopes the court would settle it in the meantime. he would've been able to re-enlist if the court had settled sooner. so he was HONORABLY DISCHARGED from the army. now that he's been convicted of aggravated assault though, i doubt the army would take him back. but even so, he gets free medical care and counseling paid for by the army even after being out for over a year while my kids and i have nothing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.