Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not knowing how to act when getting money...

I grew up pretty spoiled, my parents and grandparents were upper middle class and I cant think of anything that i ever wanted that I didnt get ( i remember having a mile long christmas list and getting everything plus some) ...

After first getting married we didnt have a ton of money but we were never really in need either... we went out to eat and went shopping a few times a month ... and then after we had our kids, we still were able to buy things for them ( I couldnt even count how many outfits they had) ...

But then my husband lost his job, it was hard but we just went on without any extras .. i got a babysitting job to help with bills, and i would also clean family members houses ( like i would clean my moms house and she would buy diapers) ... we have been living that way for the last 3 years ( my husband got a job shortly after losing the first one, but it paid very low) ...

Now he has a great job and we have extra money ... it feels so weird to actually have money and to not have to worry about how we are going to pay for things... even little things like baby wipes -- I used to have to try to ration them, and now I am fully stocked lol..

But in my mind I just cant get my mind to stop thinking on such a tight budget... I even find myself worrying about things like, my oldest starting school and the though of " oh no, how are we going to get her clothes and a nice backpack, etc" ... and then I realize I dont have to worry about that ... but then on the other side i worry that we will get used to the money again and then he could lose this job too and I just cant figure out how to act or feel about it...

It feels so wierd that something that is so good could make me feel so nervous ...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I grew up like you.....not rich, but comfortable. I have been struggling throughout my adult life, mainly due to "oh love will cure him" attititudes and guess what?, no it doesnt'.......he his still a bum...LOL Anyway......I know how to pinch a penny, I told my DH that some times it would take an act of God to get a penny out of me, and it hurts! He laughs at me. Getting extra would FREAK ME OUT, I haven't a clue how I would react. Congrats on things getting better!!

    Answer by Dahis at 9:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • yeah, that is how I should have described it lol.. It FREAKS ME OUT ... and thank you

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:27 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • There is no reason why you should feel like you have to change back to bad habits, or go back to wasteful practices and spoiled kids. Try to appreciate your good fortune by doing something wonderful with the extra money you save...set up a vacation account, make a donation to your local library, start college funds for the kids, or sock it away for a rainy day. Our experiences shape us, and that in this case, sounds like a positive, life-changing experience for your family! Your kids will learn from your example and be all the better for it!

    Answer by terirose22 at 9:29 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I know ....its strange isn't it. I would save a bunch of money---it makes me feel so good to know I have backup savings. And then maybe you will feel less stress about now having the money but worrying about spending it. Save and relax about the usual expenses that you describe--school supplies, clothing,etc.

    Answer by minnesotanice at 9:33 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I grew up the same way and as an adult made poor choices and ended up homeless one time. Now I am more concerned and I guess its an anxiety? I worry about bills being paid, clothes for the kids etc. My husband works hard. I dont have to work and I know I am fortunate in that department. But I think the issue with you is probably like mine, its anxiety of not knowing what might happen tomorrow or next week.

    Answer by gemgem at 9:36 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • You should save enough to live comfortably for at least a year. There is no need to waste money. You never know when hard times are going to hit again. Many very wealthy people live frugally. There is no need to spend for things that you do not need. It is not healthy for your children to just be constantly given.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:37 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • yeah we would never be like reckless spenders -- we werent really like that before ( bills and everything were paid first) .... and we already have an account set up to save but it is the things like the not worrying about rationing the baby wipes and diapers, not worrying about how to buy my daughter a bookbag... things like that...

    like such an odd feeling to knwo if we need something I can just go down to the store and get it...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:39 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • It is always good to live frugally. My favorite quote relating to budget & finance is from Suze Orman. It states, "Live below your means, but within your needs". So true. You never know when things can change financially, so it's best to try to be prepared.

    Answer by etexmom at 10:27 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • You shouldn't stop thinking about living like you are on a tight budget. Remember he lost his job? Everything keeps going up everyday except for paychecks. Instead of acting like you are spoiled, put the money away. This is why I think it's bad for parents to just buy buy buy for their kids. Mom's out to work only so their children can have THINGS. They don't know how to handle it when things are in the gutter. I'm glad he is back to work, it's hard living on a budget. But don't waste it buying everything you see in the store just because you can.

    Answer by attap5 at 11:20 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I would put the money away... jobs can come and go but the bills will always come...

    My fiance is in the oil field and if there is one thing you know if the oilfield it is to set money back because it's so predictable. I don't think you should stop living on a budget like you have been but at the same token don't be afraid to treat the family to a nice night out every now and again :) If you've gone this long without the new blue ray or whatever is new and afforadable now... do you really need it? Or does your 5 yr old dvd player still work well?


    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 12:34 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.